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Old 01-12-2004, 01:39   #1 (permalink)
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Lame but funny

Just a few jokes I heard at work today, well the ones that I remember anyway...

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotapus

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A Manigotsauras

Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
'Cause male blondes a dumb also

Sorry if they are distasteful or offensive!
It's been a slow day...
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Old 01-12-2004, 02:29   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Lame but funny

Okay I need to make up for that lame attempt... these are off the net...

***
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".

His teacher replies "NO"

Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".

"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.

Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".

She again says "NO".

"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.

"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.

Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"

Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
***

***
The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."

Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework."

The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."

Mary says, "The sky is very dark... perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."

She calls on Little Johnny in the back.

Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna pee on the piano."
***

***
Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag

She reaches her hand in it and says it's round, it's got a stem, and it's got a leaf.

Little Johnny raises his hand and says it's an apple, it's an apple.

Then he says now let me give you one.

He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it's round, it's hard , and it's got a head.

The teacher says Ohh Johnny that's grose.

Little Johnny says no it's a quater but I like the way you're thinking.
***

***
In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."

The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum, because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette"

The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon."

The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"

He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"
***

Like I said it's been a slow day.
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Old 01-12-2004, 17:30   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Lame but funny

Nice solo-thread you got going ! :)
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Old 01-12-2004, 18:00   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Lame but funny

Lol I love little Johnny jokes....the "thats not my finger either" one is gold!
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Old 01-12-2004, 19:07   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Lame but funny

hehe good work there !
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