With love from Australia
Saw this posting on "sniff Petrol" forum.
For those who arent familiar, sniff petrol is a UK based satire car site. They seem to think BL made really good cars.
THis was posted on their forum.
OK you Limey gits. Its your new best mate "Skippy the Bush Shag-a-Roo" here from Sydney Or-strail-ya, the greatest land on earth. A land where the beers are cheap cold strong and delicious, the women are the same.. just warmer and blonde, and the cars are better then anything that ever came out any British factory. Ever. Full stop. So shut up and drink.
Of course we dont pay 50 bleeding Euro for an eye dropper full of watered-down ethanol laced unleaded perfumed Enviro friendly diesel or other "pretendy-poofter-petrol" (euro? thats a small kanagaroo! nice of all them wops to name their money after our road kill- Maybe we should rename our dollar the weasle- but I digress) so we drive big tough Aussie cars.
Aussie built V8 engines (from ford or US 2nds from Hold-on) with over 5 Litres and nearly 300Kw of grunt or the worlds best Inline six in our Ford Falcons. (turbo optional)
I love them Falcons, fast as an aussie sheila after a few brews, better lookin then my barmaids t!ts (and thats saying something), last for about 20 million miles before breaking , and thirstier then the aussie cricket team celebrating another win over the poms! (again? ho humm)
Its got one of them tip-tronic automatic trannys so i can pretend to be Mark Webber (you know him, he crapped all over your unwashed drivers even in a clapped out Jag)
It also handles and steers as good as any 4 door sedan from Krautland, Wopland, Japland or anywhere. so shut up and drink
The car is so big you can fit 5 fat-arsed aussie blokes, enough beer, food guns and stuff for a weekend pig ro-- ... umm shooting. It will still cruise at over 160Km hour all day (except for petrol beer and p!$$ stops). Yeh I drive a brand new one.
We also have a thing called a Commodore. It has a stretched Opel Senator body (or something poofy) and American factory 2nds v6 and v8 engines. Looks like crap, goes alright, but is made out of everyone elses rejects and pretend to be aussie. Fair Dinkum!
Wot else? We have a car called a Dagna or somesh!t. Take a mitsubishi lancer or whatever you have sitting around unsold and put inserts across and along it so it looks like dogs vomit and is big anough to hold 5 blokes. We pretend it doesnt exist. I think they sold those blokes one each now, so it was pointless. And Toyota sell Crampys to sales reps fleets.
Oh we have a new thing form Ford called Northern Territory, coz thats how big it is. It's a cross between a Falcon and BMW X5. Its better then the beemer in EVERY way at one third the price. (so shut up and drink)
We also have the best race track in the world (Mt Panorama Bathurst for you uneducated soap dodgers), and the best weather. Each year at Bathurst we all get together for abonding ritual called BadThirst 1000 beacuse we drink 1000 beers each while setting fire to each others cars and watching our drivers cream all those poufs from UK Europe and America. And a Race or two.
Now you lot get back into your dinky toys and enjoy he traffic. Im off for a few coldies, a 100 mph cruise and a roll with that blonde with the big...smile...
all the best,
Your new best mate
Skippy the Bush Shag-a-roo