making babies..??.. - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
The Pub For General Discussion

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-14-03, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
***** Idiot....
LunaticSVT's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: The Sticks of Central TX
Posts: 10,560
making babies..??..

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said," I'm off, the man should be here soon"

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the door bell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to..! ....."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you." Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start"?

"Leave everything to me. I usually try in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too.... you can really spread out!

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles. I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that I'm sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well- when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look".

"Four or five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too, the mother was constantly squealing and yelling- I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

"Mrs. Smith leaned forward "You mean they actually chewed on your"

"That's right. Well madam, if you are ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work."


"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long....Madam?...Madam?.. Good lord, she's fainted!"
LunaticSVT is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-14-03, 12:09 AM
Not a Twink
honer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Perth, Australia
Age: 33
Posts: 1,086
Re: making babies..??..

hahahaha love it !
honer is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 10-14-03, 12:21 AM
I am The Brain
FordHawk's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Melbourne, Ford of Aus land
Age: 31
Posts: 3,073
Re: making babies..??.. just keeps getting funnier.

Would you like to change your name to Homer Junior? People can call you Hoju.
FordHawk is offline  
Sponsored Links

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Gear in this thread - Powered by O'Reilly Auto Parts

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Visteon to cease making Ford seats, Johnson Controls lands Ford seat contract Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 0 03-06-03 09:15 AM
Torque and Horsepower 211 General Tech 9 06-21-02 05:23 AM
Lincoln making engineering changes.... Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 0 05-06-02 12:31 PM
MAKING A WEB SITE NEED YOUR HELP keyser soze EAFALCON The Pub 6 05-01-02 10:12 AM
making an intake.... phaze5 Ford Probe Forum | Mazda MX6 Forum 23 12-26-01 09:13 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome