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Old 12-19-2001, 18:40   #1 (permalink)
Shh i'm huntin more power
 
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men fight back

TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM MEN WHO HAVE HAD ENOUGH

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,

you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

2. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to

act like soap opera guys.

3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to

answer.

4. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can

find the perfect present yet again !

6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you

don't want to hear. (Really, really listen to this one.)

7. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

8. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss

such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

10. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that

way.

11. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

Really.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail.

15. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't

work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say

it !

16. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on

the calendar.

17. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.

18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any

good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress

?

19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what

we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or

some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying

anyway.)

23. Check your oil.

24. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

25. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

26. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

27. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

28. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

29. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something

but not both.

30. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

commercials.

31. ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour.

32. If it itches, it will be scratched.

33. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's

wrong.

34. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

35. What the hell is a doily ?
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Old 12-19-2001, 19:28   #2 (permalink)
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Yes, yes and yes!
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'So that was nice.

____o00o_=^..^=_o00o____
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Old 12-19-2001, 19:29   #3 (permalink)
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I think I might have to pin this to my GF's bedroom door...lol

good stuff jase.
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Do I really have to write something funny in here?

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Old 12-19-2001, 21:35   #4 (permalink)
FM
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If only it was that easy.. Girls.. it's the truth.. print it out if you have to..
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Chucky's saying of the month- Finish your beer! There are sober kiddies in Ethiopia.."
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Old 12-19-2001, 21:36   #5 (permalink)
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Smile

Having a bad time with someone of the female persuasion are we?!
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Old 12-19-2001, 21:56   #6 (permalink)
FM
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Quote:
Originally posted by carolyn
Having a bad time with someone of the female persuasion are we?!
There's an easy answer to that?
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Chucky's saying of the month- Finish your beer! There are sober kiddies in Ethiopia.."
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Old 12-19-2001, 22:16   #7 (permalink)
Shhh, we're hunting Lions
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by carolyn
Having a bad time with someone of the female persuasion are we?!
When do we not.:s6: :s5 :s3
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Old 12-19-2001, 23:29   #8 (permalink)
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lol..how true.
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Old 12-19-2001, 23:35   #9 (permalink)
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So true!! so bloody true!!
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Old 12-19-2001, 23:44   #10 (permalink)
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Jase,
that's one of the funniest things I've read lately. Here I am laughing to myself..:s3 .I'm linking this page to a few emails.
thanks, Russell.
:s5
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