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Old 08-14-2002, 04:53   #1 (permalink)
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Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? (joke)

It is interesting seeing the difference between the way a guy and a girl thinks and want to write about. Just remember that this is University levely.



______________________________________________


Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an
American University.
__________________________________________________________


"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story
is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."


The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca-last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.
----------------------------------------------------------
STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.


------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all
the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's nnocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em
out of the sky!"


----------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.


----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic ning nong whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUC**KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."


----------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
As*shole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Bit**ch.
----------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
Wan*ker.
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
sl*ut.

---------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
Get f*cked.
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Eat sh*t.


--------------------------------------------------------
(rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.


**********************************************
(teacher)
A+ - I really liked this one.
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Old 08-14-2002, 07:51   #2 (permalink)
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hehehe... bit of a read but worth it!!

:)
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Old 08-14-2002, 16:21   #3 (permalink)
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hehe i reckon we're all in trouble if this is how our future "brainy" people really think.
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Old 08-14-2002, 17:27   #4 (permalink)
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Hehehehe I chuckle everytime I read that one.

Here's another:

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells: "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out his window and replies: "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into an enormous pig standing in the middle of the road.
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Old 08-14-2002, 18:24   #5 (permalink)
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That's good 3-toed!
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Old 08-16-2002, 20:51   #6 (permalink)
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rotflmfao! HAHAHAHAHA
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Old 08-18-2002, 08:27   #7 (permalink)
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LMFAO!!!! classic. i think her assessmenyt of himwas spot on...and his of her was also spot on. brilliant!
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Old 08-19-2002, 04:38   #8 (permalink)
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Damn that's funny! We did the same activity at Intermediate in groups, but it didn't quite turn out like that...

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Old 08-19-2002, 17:32   #9 (permalink)
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Hehehe "you funny"




Oh its way too early in the morning
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