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Old 04-19-2004, 02:53   #1 (permalink)
GOT MILK??
 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Geelong, Vic
Age: 32
Posts: 215
Men strike back!

A mate sent me these add to the list if you want

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

_________________________________________________________
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

__________________________________________________________
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

______________________________________________________
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

________________________________________________________
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

_______________________________________________________
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

_________________________________________________________
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

__________________________________________________________
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

__________________________________________________________
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

____________________________________________________________
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

______________________________________________________________

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

_______________________________________________________________

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

________________________________________________________________

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



Cheers

Nick
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Last edited by EL Ghia; 04-19-2004 at 03:02. Reason: stuffed up
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Old 04-19-2004, 02:59   #2 (permalink)
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Location: NSW
Posts: 728
Re: Men strike back!

Q: Why do brides wear white?
A: So they match the rest of the appliances

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY
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Old 04-19-2004, 03:27   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

Why don't women ski?

There's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.
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Old 04-19-2004, 03:38   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

Ha,ha, ROFL,oldie's but goodies.
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Old 04-19-2004, 08:18   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

Q: What do you do when your wife walks into the lounge to bring you dinner.
A: Find out why her leash from the stove is so long
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Ill take it as a complement i think.............
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Old 04-19-2004, 08:29   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

Or the other version:
Q: What do you do if your wife turns the footy off?
A: Take her back to the kitchen and shorten her chain.
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Old 04-19-2004, 09:12   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

suppose thats better. You would atleast eat the said dinner before checking on the chain length
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Old 04-19-2004, 17:30   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

Oldies, but always good for a laugh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EL Ghia
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Although I haven't actually heard this one before. Great one!
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Old 04-19-2004, 17:40   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Men strike back!

Gotta love those.

Q: How long does it take to open a beer?
A: No time at all, it should be open when she brings it to you.
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Old 04-20-2004, 01:17   #10 (permalink)
In Pursuit of excellence
 
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Re: Men strike back!

Q: Whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine ?

A: A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you have put a load in it !
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