EL Ghia

A mate sent me these add to the list if you want

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



Cheers

Nick

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96 EL Fairmont Ghia, Auto, Tickford motor, Wade 1004@112 cam, shift kit, custom CAI, pedders shocks with king spring superlows, 17" AMG Quakes, 2.5 M/B cat back system, kenwood headunit, kenwood 5" spilts, kenwoos 6.5" rear, 2 12" kenwood subs, 5ch Amp 114db.

Mods to came:
Race series Extractors
Bigger Cam

Yellow Fire

Q: Why do brides wear white?
A: So they match the rest of the appliances

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY

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psycho chicken

Why don't women ski?

There's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.

galaxy xr8

Ha,ha, ROFL,oldie's but goodies.

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AU II XR8
Herrod mod's,mmmn.
XW Wagon 221-2V,
Laser a maser.

Walkinshaw

Q: What do you do when your wife walks into the lounge to bring you dinner.
A: Find out why her leash from the stove is so long

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Ive been described as a vault of usless random knowledge.

Ill take it as a complement i think.............

mongrelEB

Or the other version:
Q: What do you do if your wife turns the footy off?
A: Take her back to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

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Pacemaker headers + 2.5" exhaust
EF Fairmont interior
MP3 player
Lowered King springs
5 speed manual
EF motor

Newest mod: EF Ghia wiring loom and dash

Walkinshaw

suppose thats better. You would atleast eat the said dinner before checking on the chain length

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Ive been described as a vault of usless random knowledge.

Ill take it as a complement i think.............

FordHawk

Oldies, but always good for a laugh.

Although I haven't actually heard this one before. Great one!

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Would you like to change your name to Homer Junior? People can call you Hoju.

Bishman

Gotta love those.

Q: How long does it take to open a beer?
A: No time at all, it should be open when she brings it to you.

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2000 AU II XR8 - 5 spd, 18" wheels, Exhaust, Sports Suspension, slotted/drilled brakes, sunroof, TS50 snorkel

cams290

Q: Whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine ?

A: A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you have put a load in it !

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Regards
Cameron
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BA Pursuit, Blueprint,Silver stripes, Prestige sound, Leather, Sports s/wheel