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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-30-02, 02:13 AM Thread Starter
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Men's 5 most feared questions

Men's five most feared questions


1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?



What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (ie: tells the truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below along with
possible responses.


Question #1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I have been a bit
pensive darling. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,
thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have
met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Nothing
b. Football
c. Jennifer Lopez
d. How fat you are
e. How would I spend the nsurance money if you died?


Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you"


Question #2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is
necessary, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh yeah, shit loads
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love
d. Does it matter?
e. Who me?


Question #3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you
d. I've seen fatter
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.

Question #4: Do you think she is prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define "pretty"
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
spend the insurance money if you died.

Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and
a boat").
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow up questions, usually along these lines:

WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not? Don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (With a hurt look on her face)
MAN: (Makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't. She's left-handed.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-30-02, 02:21 AM
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LMAO!

Good stuff!
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-30-02, 02:54 AM
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she cant, shes left handed

LMAO!!!

no sex for you for the rest of your life, might as well top her now, and put the other pics up :)
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-30-02, 04:08 AM
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And of course feared question number 6 which could apply to this thread..

6/ Just what did you mean by that?? (j/k)

:s5
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-30-02, 04:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Discovery
And of course feared question number 6 which could apply to this thread..

6/ Just what did you mean by that?? (j/k)

:s5
Love that one Discovery..........proberly one they cant answer at all.....

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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-30-02, 04:53 AM
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Oh my!! TuscanTears(tm)!! Classic stuff Russ!!

Chucky's saying of the month- Finish your beer! There are sober kiddies in Ethiopia.."
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-23-05, 05:47 PM
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Re: Men's 5 most feared questions

My 38th anniversary is coming up soon and so far I can't find an answer to any of those questions that would satisfy her. Just have another beer.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-23-05, 07:19 PM
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Re: Men's 5 most feared questions

Gold.
The answer to the first is without fail: something fast.

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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-23-05, 07:28 PM
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Re: Men's 5 most feared questions

haha good one

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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-24-05, 12:22 AM
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Re: Men's 5 most feared questions

HAHAH..... Great stuff... LOL
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