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Old 04-08-2004, 02:24   #1 (permalink)
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Men's Rules for Women

We always hear "The Rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male perspective. Note the "unique" numbering system:-

Read these and enjoy!!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us!

1. If something we said can be interpreted in 2 ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us that you want something done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit, not a colour. Lilac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know that I have to sleep on the lounge tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping!


Tim
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Old 04-08-2004, 02:28   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Men's Rules for Women

yes, Tim! I have seen these rules... I abide by these rules
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Old 04-08-2004, 07:24   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Men's Rules for Women

LMAO, well done Timmy, about time one of the MEN came back at you girls.
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Old 04-08-2004, 23:18   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Men's Rules for Women

Read these and enjoy!!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that. - cant stop u from looking, dont care if u do

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - tell us to learn how to work it? if its ok for u's to leave it up its ok for us to leave it down, do the same! n it dont hurt to flip it bak down, saves an argument dont it?

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. - meh, id most probally b there watching it too lol

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. - who the fuk said shopping was a sport? u got something wrong, its more like excercise lol, dun really like shopping much

1. Crying is blackmail. - hmm well duno bout this one but whoeva cries so much is a woose

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! - if i want something, sure as hell u'd know it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. - got nothing for that one lol

1. Come to us with a problem only if want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. - probally go to girlfriends first anyway, u's dont want to hear it, only leads to crying!

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. - big problem get outta there as fast as u can, or she just wants to b middle of attention and wants sympathy for some little headache shes got... also leads to crying!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. - meh, wouldnt last 7 days cos u'd forget it with an hr

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us! - well its probally true lol, u say ur fat and then ur all happy but if someone says "ur fat" u have a mental break down, also leads to crying!

1. If something we said can be interpreted in 2 ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. - the other way was probally just as bad as the first. u shoulda just shut ur mouth lol

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us that you want something done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself. - probally wouldnt get done til the next day or not at all if we were to ask

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials. - same goes for u, we have tv shows we like to watch too

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we! - and either do we, we r not ur slave, get off ur ass and help out

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit, not a colour. Lilac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is! - well men do have some brains they knew what lilac was, i only use the basic colours anyway, whats the difference, could go one shade lower and then its a whole new colour, whats the go?? :$

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. - thats fine, nothing against it

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - meh, probally is nothing, probally just an attention seeking thing

1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. wouldnt ask if i didnt want an answer, (good or bad) u mite b telling the truth for once

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. - of course u dont care, u wouldnt even care if we went naked, derhh!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars. - im prepared to talk bout those things :)

1. You have enough clothes. - well u never have enuff so we r making up for it lol

1. You have too many shoes. - waste of money lol, shoes suck, id wear no shoes if i could

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. g, u actually went to skool and learnt something lol

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know that I have to sleep on the lounge tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping! - campings kool, bring on the marshmellows! lol

lol, nah im just fukn around, im bored lol, but ur rules r crap, cos this is just one big b!tch session or UR own,ur just as bad as what chicks are, now u have UR own ruleslol, i dont have any rules, i say scrap the rulz and do what ya want lol
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Old 04-18-2004, 03:51   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Men's Rules for Women

Hey,

Pursuit_Chick - could you actually write in English, not SMS/text/shorthand? After all, you're not paying for each letter when you post...

L8a,
Prud

P.S. Yes I know L8a is a contraction, but its a contraction I've been signing off with since the days when the internet only existed between Universities and us bums were using BBS's...
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Old 04-18-2004, 05:17   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Men's Rules for Women

hahaha damn straight
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