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Old 02-12-2003, 15:58   #1 (permalink)
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biggrin Monty Python on taking action without any proof

From Terry Jones (Monty Python) in the Observer late last month:

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience, and so am I! For some time now I've been really pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.

Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is.

As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he is, in reality, a mass murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the police? But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence of a crime with which to charge my neighbours.

They'll come up with endless red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace.

Until recently that's been a little difficult.

Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want!

That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them.

I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up.

Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a_good enough Reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens. And interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire street to kingdom come.

It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast To what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

You know you're on shaky ground when a member of Monty Python adopts your logic.
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Old 02-12-2003, 17:14   #2 (permalink)
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That really is a good peice of writing. Good find.
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Old 02-12-2003, 17:15   #3 (permalink)
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That's a good peice of writing. Good Find!

Sorry i dont know what happened!
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Old 02-13-2003, 03:18   #4 (permalink)
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Here's another one I just got:


Wondering how his popularity was among the children, the American president visits a school. After explaining a little bit of the governmental platform, he asks the kids if they had any questions.

Bob raises his hand and says: I have 2 questions for you...
1) How did you manage to win the elections, even though you had less votes?
2) Why do you want to attack Iraq?

At this very moment the bell rings and all the kids run out of the classroom.

After the break, Bush tells the kids to feel free to ask him more questions and this time Joey raises his hand and says: I have 4 questions for you...
1) How did you manage to win in the elections, even though you had less votes?
2) Why do you want to attack Iraq?
3) Why did the bell sound 20 minutes earlier today??
4) Where's Bob?
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Old 02-13-2003, 14:47   #5 (permalink)
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Someone email this to George Bush!!!!!!!! How true is his way of thinking? LOL
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Old 02-13-2003, 14:53   #6 (permalink)
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I know these are funny, and just a laugh but Bush did win more votes. The independent audit which was completed just in Dec last year, and showed he did in fact win more votes.

Everyone seems to poke fun at him, but it could hve been Gore.

Imagine that.
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