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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-10-02, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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Muscle vs rice

Taken from the opp (ls1) by 35thss ..... some funny stuff!

Muscle VS. Rice
These are the reasons why burners suck and muscle will live forever...

US:Stickers for contingency
THEM:Stickers for extra horsepower

US:Keeping a low profile and letting the E.T's tell the story
THEM:Hoping the stupid body kit will distract everyone from the timeslip

US:Sideways into third gear
THEM:Sideways to avoid high-centering on a speedbump

US:Tall spinde conversions for better camber gain and tire wear
THEM:Lowering 3 inches and ruining tires with 4 degrees of negative camber

US:600 hp on 92 octane pump gas
THEM: 300 hp on 3-dollars a gallon 100 octane rice gas

US:Swapping stock 14 inch wheels for 17s to clear trick brakes and suspension
THEM:Swapping stock wheels for 20s despite stock brakes and suspension

US:Boost gauge on a blown car, nitrous gauge on a squeezed car
THEM:Both gauges on a normally aspirated car

US:500ft-lb torque at 3500rpm
THEM:50ft-lb torque at 35,000 rpm

US:headers and 3 inch exhaust
THEM:stock peashooter exhaust with a 5 inch tip

US:600hp makes for an earth shaking street car
THEM:600 watts per channel makes for an ear shattering street car

US:buying an aftermarket shifter for shorter throws
THEM:buying an after-market shifter for the pretty little light

US:Composite parts for light weight and aerodynamics
THEM:Composite Veneer dash trim and gauges

US:Upgrading to a 9-inch because you keep breaking stock rears
THEM:Realizing you built motor wil keep breaking half-shafts forever

US:Functional air ducts to cool the big block
THEM:Six different "cosmetic" air dams in random locations

USolishing tail light lenses to bring out the color
THEM:Installing clear tail lights to bait cops

US:Cruising and burnout contests at car shows
THEM:Rear wing and stereo competitions at car shows

US:"Old-tech" pushrod bogblocks pushing quadruple digit hp numbers
THEM:"state-of-the-art" DOHC VTECs pushing triple digit hp numbers

US:Race-class lettering on the rear window
THEM:Japanese Honda lettering on the rear window of a Nissan

US:Tach mounted on the dash, in the drivers line of sight with the tree
THEM:Six tachs mounted in every line of sight the driver could have

US:Nitrous Oxide

US:Installing a 12 point cage after breaking into the 11s
THEM:Installing a 12 point cage for more places to mount useless gauges

US:Feeling the car shake froma lumpy cam
THEM:Feeling the car shake from booming bass

US:Comfy stock bucket seats in a 9 second street car
THEM:Back-breaking fiberglass racing buckets in a 17 minute street car

US:Leaving on the third amber light at the strip
THEM:blowing throught red lights on the street

US:Installing subframe connectors to stiffen the chassis
THEM:Connecting the subframes with neon lights

US:Showing off a 500hp Dyno sheet
THEM:Boasting that their 150hp 4 pinger makes more hp per liter

USoing a short burnout to warm up the tires before a pass
THEM:Weaving from side to side cause NASCAR racers do it

US:Throttle steer
THEM:Torque Steer

US:Annoyued by the blind spot caused by the blower popping up from the hood
THEM:Annoyed by the blind spots caused by the limo tinted windows, triple deck rear wing, and the HONDA sticker that takes up 3 quarters fo the windshield

US:Staging on the front tires
THEM:No clue because their body kit touches the ground all the way around the car!!!!!!!!

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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-10-02, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
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Falchoon thats the best smiley I have ever seen!

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-10-02, 11:58 PM
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-11-02, 03:16 AM
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True, so very true (about the ricers and the smiley).
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-11-02, 04:44 AM
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ha ha Dave... the smiley got as many replies as the post did
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-11-02, 09:13 AM
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That is so funny and so true!!!!


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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-14-02, 07:52 AM
Boat Hunting ;)
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So very very true... I have a constant battle with the ricer boys, being a young bloke, most of the others are obssessed with them!!

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-16-02, 10:45 PM
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Great stuff! Except for a couple of things
US: Can smell tyre smoke
THEM: Can smell the aftershave they saw advertised in a rice magazine.

US: Remember when murals on panelvans were cool and exhaust noise was deep.
THEM: Murals hide the fact that the bodykit underneath is the same as the bodykit sold by the thousand and the sound of the 'doof doof' hides the asthmatic exhaust noise.

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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 09-17-02, 05:04 AM
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Posts: 587
So true its scary

forgot one-

US- Happy with the standard stereo as you'd rather hear the

THEM- Since they carn't hear their motor or to ovoid
embarrassment of being confused with a lawnmower a 1/4
tonne stereo system might make up for it.
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