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Old 09-10-2002, 21:14   #1 (permalink)
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Muscle vs rice

Taken from the opp (ls1) by 35thss ..... some funny stuff!

Muscle VS. Rice
These are the reasons why burners suck and muscle will live forever...

US:Stickers for contingency
THEM:Stickers for extra horsepower

US:Keeping a low profile and letting the E.T's tell the story
THEM:Hoping the stupid body kit will distract everyone from the timeslip

US:Sideways into third gear
THEM:Sideways to avoid high-centering on a speedbump

US:Tall spinde conversions for better camber gain and tire wear
THEM:Lowering 3 inches and ruining tires with 4 degrees of negative camber

US:600 hp on 92 octane pump gas
THEM: 300 hp on 3-dollars a gallon 100 octane rice gas

US:Swapping stock 14 inch wheels for 17s to clear trick brakes and suspension
THEM:Swapping stock wheels for 20s despite stock brakes and suspension

US:Boost gauge on a blown car, nitrous gauge on a squeezed car
THEM:Both gauges on a normally aspirated car

US:500ft-lb torque at 3500rpm
THEM:50ft-lb torque at 35,000 rpm

US:headers and 3 inch exhaust
THEM:stock peashooter exhaust with a 5 inch tip

US:600hp makes for an earth shaking street car
THEM:600 watts per channel makes for an ear shattering street car

US:buying an aftermarket shifter for shorter throws
THEM:buying an after-market shifter for the pretty little light

US:Composite parts for light weight and aerodynamics
THEM:Composite Veneer dash trim and gauges

US:Upgrading to a 9-inch because you keep breaking stock rears
THEM:Realizing you built motor wil keep breaking half-shafts forever

US:Functional air ducts to cool the big block
THEM:Six different "cosmetic" air dams in random locations

USolishing tail light lenses to bring out the color
THEM:Installing clear tail lights to bait cops

US:Cruising and burnout contests at car shows
THEM:Rear wing and stereo competitions at car shows

US:"Old-tech" pushrod bogblocks pushing quadruple digit hp numbers
THEM:"state-of-the-art" DOHC VTECs pushing triple digit hp numbers

US:Race-class lettering on the rear window
THEM:Japanese Honda lettering on the rear window of a Nissan

US:Tach mounted on the dash, in the drivers line of sight with the tree
THEM:Six tachs mounted in every line of sight the driver could have

US:Nitrous Oxide
THEM:NAWWWS!!!!!!!!

US:Installing a 12 point cage after breaking into the 11s
THEM:Installing a 12 point cage for more places to mount useless gauges

US:Feeling the car shake froma lumpy cam
THEM:Feeling the car shake from booming bass

US:Comfy stock bucket seats in a 9 second street car
THEM:Back-breaking fiberglass racing buckets in a 17 minute street car

US:Leaving on the third amber light at the strip
THEM:blowing throught red lights on the street

US:Installing subframe connectors to stiffen the chassis
THEM:Connecting the subframes with neon lights

US:Showing off a 500hp Dyno sheet
THEM:Boasting that their 150hp 4 pinger makes more hp per liter

USoing a short burnout to warm up the tires before a pass
THEM:Weaving from side to side cause NASCAR racers do it

US:Throttle steer
THEM:Torque Steer

US:Annoyued by the blind spot caused by the blower popping up from the hood
THEM:Annoyed by the blind spots caused by the limo tinted windows, triple deck rear wing, and the HONDA sticker that takes up 3 quarters fo the windshield

US:Staging on the front tires
THEM:No clue because their body kit touches the ground all the way around the car!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-10-2002, 21:46   #2 (permalink)
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Falchoon thats the best smiley I have ever seen!
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Old 09-10-2002, 22:58   #3 (permalink)
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lol
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Old 09-11-2002, 02:16   #4 (permalink)
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True, so very true (about the ricers and the smiley).
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Old 09-11-2002, 03:44   #5 (permalink)
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ha ha Dave... the smiley got as many replies as the post did
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Old 09-11-2002, 08:13   #6 (permalink)
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ROFLMAO!!!!!

That is so funny and so true!!!!

:MUha:
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Old 09-14-2002, 06:52   #7 (permalink)
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So very very true... I have a constant battle with the ricer boys, being a young bloke, most of the others are obssessed with them!!
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Old 09-16-2002, 21:45   #8 (permalink)
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Great stuff! Except for a couple of things
US: Can smell tyre smoke
THEM: Can smell the aftershave they saw advertised in a rice magazine.

US: Remember when murals on panelvans were cool and exhaust noise was deep.
THEM: Murals hide the fact that the bodykit underneath is the same as the bodykit sold by the thousand and the sound of the 'doof doof' hides the asthmatic exhaust noise.

Check out www.wog.com.au/article_main2? Cruising in Brighton, its hilarious!
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Old 09-17-2002, 04:04   #9 (permalink)
 
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So true its scary

forgot one-

US- Happy with the standard stereo as you'd rather hear the
motor.

THEM- Since they carn't hear their motor or to ovoid
embarrassment of being confused with a lawnmower a 1/4
tonne stereo system might make up for it.
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