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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-23-03, 12:09 PM Thread Starter
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my useless joke

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
What makes life 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top. And look how far ass kissing and brown nosing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

B R O W N N O S I N G
2 18 15 23 14 14 15 19 5 9 14 7 = 155%

So the next time someone asks you to give more than 100% you know what is required!
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-23-03, 03:51 PM
NZ
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Yeah it was useless


please take anything I say as being a direct oppisite of what i mean

Dot Aye You
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-23-03, 04:37 PM Thread Starter
***** Idiot....
 
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thanks
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-23-03, 04:48 PM
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Hahaha, that's a well thought out joke !
Here's mine:

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of bitumen.
He says to the bartender:" 2 beers thanks, one for me and one for the road."

Cheers
Paul

Please check out V8FREAKS.COM !
Be sure to drop a line !
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-24-03, 06:43 AM
 
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Thats pretty good, ill have to print it and take it in to work! Its already the theme of the workplace!!!
A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%
B R O W N N O S I N G
2 18 15 23 14 14 15 19 5 9 14 7 = 155%

Not to mention N E P O T I S I M
14 5 16 15 20 9 19 9 13 = 120%
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-24-03, 03:41 PM
NZ
feed me hey
 
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N Z
14 26

I give 40% at work. Sounds about right

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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-25-03, 03:41 AM
Breastologistâ„¢
 
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L A Z Y N E S S =119%

Am i suppost to put something funny here?
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-25-03, 05:55 AM
Not Guilty, Your Honour
 
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G'day guys, just thought I'd let you know that you should consult a dickshunary, eg, nepotism, laziness etc.

FPV and XR Owners Club of Victoria

Herrod XR8 ute for sale. too many extras to list.
Check it out here.


http://www.fordforums.com/f564/herrod-xr8-ute-66083/

http://www.fordgallery.com/showgalle...00&ppuser=9077
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-25-03, 06:13 AM
spaced out
 
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sickday = 72%

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out


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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-25-03, 06:20 PM
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WINGING IT = 119%

23 9 13 23 9 13 23 9 20

"When I joined the marines all they gave us was two sticks and a rock! And we had to share the rock between the whole platoon!"
-----------
H2 pwnz j00 foo.
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