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Old 05-25-2003, 22:45   #1 (permalink)
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eek New Disease Breakout - B.A.R.S.

NEW DISEASE BREAKOUT - B.A.R.S.


The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease, identified as BARS
(Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affects people of many different ages.

Believed to have started in Ireland in 1500 BC, the disease seems to affect people who congregate in Pubs and Taverns or who just congregate. It is not known how the disease is transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are affected, with thousands of new cases appearing every day.

Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at 6 :00pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most keenly felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include talking loudly, singing off-key, aggression, heightened sexual attraction/confidence (even towards fuglies), uncalled for laughter, uncontrollable dancing and unprovoked arguing.

In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and speak incoherently. Vomiting, loss of memory, loss of balance, loss of clothing and loss of virginity can also occur. Sometimes death ensues, usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Fred, bet you can't do this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??"

If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you quarantine yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or all the symptoms have passed. Sadly, it is reported that the disease can reappear at very short notice or at the latest, on the following Friday.

Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce.

On the up side, there is not, and probably never will be, a permanent cure.
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Old 05-26-2003, 00:24   #2 (permalink)
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I think I should visit the local bar oops, I mean the local doctor to get checked out, I mean a check up.
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Old 05-26-2003, 01:23   #3 (permalink)
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Re: New Disease Breakout - B.A.R.S.

Off to quarantine for me

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NEW DISEASE BREAKOUT - B.A.R.S.
Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce.
Also the unexplained presence of kababs, or the taste of.
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Old 05-26-2003, 01:54   #4 (permalink)
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I love your post 3Toed !











But not as much a I love BEER !!!!
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Old 05-26-2003, 03:43   #5 (permalink)
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ROFL!!

That is hilarious!

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Old 05-26-2003, 04:58   #6 (permalink)
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Argh, I've got it!

Not 18 so I guess I'll just padlock myself to the bar fridge!
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Old 05-26-2003, 05:09   #7 (permalink)
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i'll drink to that
hic

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Old 05-26-2003, 06:01   #8 (permalink)
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ROFL!! :s6:

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