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Old 12-15-2001, 21:02   #1 (permalink)
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New Student!

It was the first day of school and a new student named
> Hideo,
> the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
>
> The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American
> history.
>
> Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
> She saw a sea of blank faces,
> except for Hideo, who had his hand up.
>
> "Patrick Henry, 1775." he said.
>
> "Very good! Who said 'Government of the people,
> by the people, for the people,
> shall not perish from the earth'"?
> Again, no response except from Hideo:
>
> "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Hideo
>
> The teacher snapped at the class,
> "Class, you should be ashamed.
> Hideo, who is new to our country,
> knows more about its history than you do."
>
> She heard a loud whisper: "F-k the Japanese."
>
> "Who said that?" she demanded.
>
> Hideo put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
>
> At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
>
> The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
>
> Again, Hideo says, "George Bush,
> to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
>
> Furious, another student yells,
> "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
>
> Hideo jumps out of his chair waving his hand
> and shouts to the teacher,
> "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
>
> Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said,
> "You little #%!&*#%!&*#%!&*#%!&*, if you ever say anything else,
> I will have you killed."
>
> Hideo yells at the top of his voice,
> "Gary Condit, to Chandra Levy, 2001."
>
> The teacher fainted.
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Old 12-15-2001, 21:03   #2 (permalink)
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Rope!

> A length of Rope went into a bar, sat on a stool,
> and ordered a beer. The
> Bartender said, "We don't serve Ropes here."
> Dismayed and disappointed, the
> Rope went out and then got an idea. He stopped a man
> and asked, "Will you
> please tie a knot in me and separate my strands at
> both ends?". The man
> obliged, and with this done, the Rope went back into
> the bar and again
> ordered a beer. The Bartender looked him over and
> said, "Say, aren't you the
> same rope who was in here before?
>
> "NO," replied the rope,,,,,
>
> " I'M A FRAYED KNOT."
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Old 12-20-2001, 08:22   #3 (permalink)
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THat first one is truly funny


That second one is so corny thta I'm still laughing while typing this
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Old 12-21-2001, 18:44   #4 (permalink)
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DOH!!!!!
Those were funny....
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Old 12-25-2001, 15:43   #5 (permalink)
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Oh, man, we must be bored...
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