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Old 09-29-2001, 14:22   #1 (permalink)
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Official Joke Thread... give us your BEST!!

but keep it clean

these two nuns are riding down the back streets of Rome and the one nun leans over to the other nun and says ive never come this way..the other nun whispers..its the cobble stones....

that was clean.. wasnt it?
LOL


Searching for the meaning of "clean"
one naughty post at a time.
:p
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Old 09-29-2001, 19:45   #2 (permalink)
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Which condom would you use....?

Ford Condoms: TOUGH!
**** Condoms: Just do it.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple. Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Zippo Condoms: Put a Zip in your Grip
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face... LMAO!!
General Electric: We bring good things to life!
AT&T condom: 'Reach out and touch someone.'
Bounty: The quicker picker upper.
Energizer: It keeps going and going and going....
Chevron: use them? people do.
FED-EX Condom: when it absolutely, positively has to be there over night.
Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border
Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter
American Express: Dont leave home without it.
9-lives condom: When it has to be good enough for morris. ACK!!!!
Visa Condoms: Accepted Everywhere
who wants to be a millionaire condom: Is that your final answer???
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are
The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before ***(Be afraid.. be very.. afraid..) LOL
Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!
McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served
M&M condom: 'It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!'
MCI: for friends and family **YIPES**
Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities **Groovy
Microsoft: where do you want to go today ? **WOOHOO LOL

hahahaha :)
Well now.. that was fun :D
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Old 09-30-2001, 12:00   #3 (permalink)
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How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants...
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?


Today's Quote:
"Get silly " (cause "get naked" is not an option on this board)Teehee
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Old 09-30-2001, 13:36   #4 (permalink)
 
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Ok, here is one sent to me by my mechanic. This isnt intended to be offensive towards blondes. I just think its funny...

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What's more, the guy sitting next to me is 6'2," weighs 225 pounds, and he's a blond
weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6'5" and pushing 300 pounds, and he's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Old 09-30-2001, 14:18   #5 (permalink)
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LOL Very nice :)
hahahaha
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Old 09-30-2001, 14:57   #6 (permalink)
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Ha ha ha ha, GOOD ONE!!
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Old 09-30-2001, 15:59   #7 (permalink)
 
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Thanks. Ill pass on the word to my mechanic.
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Old 09-30-2001, 18:38   #8 (permalink)
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I don't get it
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Old 09-30-2001, 18:49   #9 (permalink)
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scamper's blonde... lol

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Old 09-30-2001, 20:36   #10 (permalink)
 
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Scamper blonde?!?!?! Now thats the joke the century!!!!!
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