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Old 10-11-2001, 18:00   #1 (permalink)
I want a turtle!
 
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An oldie.. but a goodie

An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat
down next to him.

The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless,
started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Australian folk
eat the whole bread?"
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."

The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States,
we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."

The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in
silence.

The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"

Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We
don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put
all the peels,seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them,
transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."

The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"

The American smiled and said, "Why of course we do."

The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you
do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away, of course." Now it was the Australian's
turn to smile.

"We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle
them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States."

"Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?"
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Old 10-12-2001, 11:02   #2 (permalink)
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:D LOL, You might say it's an oldie but i havnt heard it before
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Old 10-13-2001, 04:09   #3 (permalink)
gone
 
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LMAO

"as I spit chewing gum across the room"
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Old 10-13-2001, 06:05   #4 (permalink)
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LOL, thats a good one, must say i haven't heard it before either.:D
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Old 10-13-2001, 06:16   #5 (permalink)
 
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LMAO

i haven't heard this joke in AGES!!! it's a hell funny joke! don't get me started on jokes though! once i get started i can't stop...
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Old 10-13-2001, 17:10   #6 (permalink)
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Never heard that one before, bloody funny though!:D :D :D
Sick, sick people... :eek: :eek: :eek:
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Old 10-14-2001, 01:09   #7 (permalink)
I want a turtle!
 
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Drink 'til she/he's cute, but stop before the wedding.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ...

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose
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Old 10-14-2001, 01:22   #8 (permalink)
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Good gear Kelli.. :D
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Old 10-14-2001, 01:39   #9 (permalink)
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Funny stuff, and i dont think that i have ever heard that joke either... :)
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