None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
4. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
5. How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
6. Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, whom do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
9. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months -
I don't like to interrupt her.
12. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%.
It is called Wedding Cake.
13. Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering
14. Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me. "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
15. Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
16. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
17. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing
"You can have mine."
18. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once.
19. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
20. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to
bed.
Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the
refrigerator.
why can I hear cheering at the thought of me not being here?
__________________
"When I joined the marines all they gave us was two sticks and a rock! And we had to share the rock between the whole platoon!"
-----------
H2 pwnz j00 foo.
what do you do if your wife tells you her watch has a flat battery??!
Ask her what the HELL she is doing with a watch when there is a clock on the stove!!!
__________________
AU2 S-pack Owner: Silhouette Black, XR6 Wheels, Tickford Sunroof, C2R rear bar, Checker Plate Floor Mats, Chrome Door Sills, Blue Backlite Dash, Blue Painted Brake Callipers, Advanced Extractors, Magnaflow High Flow Cat, 2.5" Stainless Steel Mandrel Bent Custom Exhaust, Genie Muffler. Sony Explode 50w x 4 deck, Kenwood 140w speakers (front and rear), Boss 1200 watt Amplifier, 12" Orion Sub in custom box. More To Come!!
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