Parrot Goes To Church
An elderly woman was looking for a pet to be a good companion and not much trouble. The pet store owner suggested a parrot, showed it to her, and guaranteed her it would be a wonderful companion.
The woman asked if it would behave if she took it to church with her on Sundays. The owner said it shouldn't be a problem, and that she could put him on her shoulder and he would stay there.
She bought the parrot, and for the next week spent time getting to know him. Assured that he spoke properly and was well behaved, she put him on her shoulder and went off to church.
Just as everyone quieted down and the sermon began, the parrot looked around, squawked, and said, "It's damned cold in here!" Everyone turned to look at her, and the woman ran out of the church in total embarrassment!
All the next week, she talked to the parrot, explaining the necessity to remain quiet during church. The parrot understood, so she put him on her shoulder and went to church the following Sunday.
Once again, just as everything got quiet and the sermon began, the parrot squawked, looked around, and loudly proclaimed, "It's damned cold in here!" Again, the woman ran from the church.
The next day, she returned to the pet store and explained the
embarrassing situation to the owner. Since she didn't want to get rid of the parrot, the owner offered the following solution: "If the parrot does that again, grab him by the legs and swing him around 5 or 6 times, and return him to your shoulder."
That'll work?" asked the woman.
"Guaranteed!" exclaimed the owner.
So, the next Sunday, she took the parrot to church and, sure enough, just as the sermon started, the parrot squawked, "It's damned cold in here!"
Without any hesitation, the woman grabbed his legs, swung him around 5 or 6 times, and placed him back on her shoulder. The parrot shook his head, ruffled his feathers, and said, "Pretty f**in' windy, too!"
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'So that was nice.