MkII Cortina Owner
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Sober in the Lucky (Newcastle)
Yep, been a great week. As some of you know, this Friday just gone was Autonomy day. Much fun. But the rest of the week. I thought I'd give you a rundown.....
Monday: get involved in a pub brawl. Nothing too dramatic, really, was doing quite well. Whilst dragging a mate from the bottom, a 120kg+ individual decided that he would belly flop onto me. Being the "new an improved" Prud of 80kgs, that wasn't fun. It was worse when I made contact with my mates elbow with my sternum. Didn't get up off the floor for about half an hour, coughed up quite a bit of blood, which made the cigarettes taste great!
Result: Heavily fractured rib cage, liver damage (again!), fresh cart damage to both knees, bruised left elbow, mildly punctured lung (stopped coughing up blood about Wednesday). My mate ended up with cracked ribs and also a touch of lung damage.
Wednesday: Get pulled over. After being really happy about not being pulled for about a week. As usual, an RBT. As I have a bad liver and cannot drink, the coppers seem rather annoyed that I've blown triple zero. And in Newcastle Copper fashion the try to defect the car. Again they came out with the beauty of needing an engineers certificate for the V8 - "ED's never came from the factory with a V8" says the copper. Even when faced with matching numbers they still try this one on me. About 20 minutes later, allowed to leave, told to behave. Amusing given the reason they pulled me over had nothing to do with misbehaving.
Thursday night/Friday morning: Go on Scavenger hunt. Was 1st car to the 1st checkpoint. Then lost the keys to the V8 in Nobbys carpark. So half an hour later, its cruise time. Rolling along in a line of traffic, doing about 80 in the 80 kay zone on the way to Kooragang, a drunken Uni student decides to play chicken with the cars by running backwards and forwards across the road. Only I don't see him until I've clipped him with the front passenger corner. Pull over. He's standing on the side of the road. Apologizes to me for damaging my car, begs me not to sue him. It turns out I clipped his foot as he ran and set him flying into the ditch on the side of the road. So with the aid of a torch off comes his shoe. Tad pink, normal shape, bugger all swelling. He puts his shoe back on, walks across the road and gets in his car. I figure hes ok, but I go to the copshop anyway just be sure. Then have lots of fun getting them to take my statement. The upside is the EDV8 has a scuff mark (I need to paint the bumpers anyway), but no real damage.
Friday Arvo: Have been awake for over 50 hours by this stage (its the fun of Autonomy). Decide its time to go home. Wander to the carpark, and theres some International House tool sitting on the boot of my car. Not happy Jan. Politely request he get off the car - something like "Get the **** off my car". He laughs. Angrier now I grab him by the throat and throw him. His IH mates sitting on the closed tailgate of their Commy ute catch him across their chest and fall into the tray. The others start shaping up to me. My mate who has cracked ribs thanks to Monday night is now a little worried. Neither of us in any shape to fight, and Im eyeing off 12-14 drunk 1st years. He's a good Windale boy. Can barely stand, but willing to back me in a fight if it came to that. Much to his relief - but not to mine - the throw has pushed something back into the lung, and breathing has started becoming hard and sort of a red colour. So we hop in the V8 and bail to the sounds of "P**fter Ford drivers". Descretion better part of valour (and I cant breathe at all) so the windows stayed up.
Saw the doc again on Saturday, got called an idiot again, but as long as nobody else decides to sit on the boot, I'll heal in a coupla weeks. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Thanks to the large amount of fractures the ribcage now has, its doubtful I'll be able to return to my current profession of throwing people out of pubs. So I have to look for a new job in Newcastle, which is not the easiest thing in the world to do. Especially one that fits in to a Uni timetable.
So how was your week? :s6: :s6: :s6:
"Be sure to leave your underpants with someone you can trust"