No offence to any Bannana Benders...
A man walked into the produce section of his local
supermarket and asked to buy "half" a head of lettuce.
The boy working in that department told him that they
only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was
insistent that the boy ask his manager about the
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his
manager, "Some arsehole wants to buy a half a head of
lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to
find the man standing right behind him, so he added,
"and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his
way. Later the manager found the boy and said "I was
impressed with the way you got yourself out of that
situation earlier. We like people who think on their
feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Queensland, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Queensland," the manager
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and
rugby league players up there."
"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from
The boy replied, "No shit??? Who did she play for?"
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'So that was nice.