Rectum Stretcher! - Joke - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
ยป Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto Escrow

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-25-2004, 04:09   #1 (permalink)
true blue thru & thru
 
big_pete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Photo-Choppin'
Age: 30
Posts: 1,387
Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

While she was flying down the road yesterday (20 Ks over the limit), a
woman
passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side
lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

She replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah?," said the cop, "What do you
do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what?
A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work
from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"Jeez, what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked, to which
she politely replied,

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge........"

Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
The look on that cop's face: PRICELESS!
__________________
big_pete is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 08-25-2004, 04:17   #2 (permalink)
The Guy You Love To Hate
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: VICTORIA: The Revenue State
Posts: 1,510
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

Hahahaha. Ablsolutely true
__________________
Welcome To Victoria, Home Of The Speed Camera

Just another Eseries...
T_Terror is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:20   #3 (permalink)
Roll, Crash and Smash
 
Peuty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Cleaning up the broken bits...
Posts: 1,748
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

LOL, it makes sense though doesn't it?
__________________
BACK II BACK


AMBROSE CHAMPION AGAIN IN 2004
Peuty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:29   #4 (permalink)
Falcontastic.
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Bendigo,Victoria.
Age: 38
Posts: 6,039
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

Ha, a rectum stretcher hey, love to see the look on the cop's face.
__________________
AU II XR8
Herrod mod's,mmmn.
XW Wagon 221-2V,
Laser a maser.
galaxy xr8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:31   #5 (permalink)
Falcon 2.. Ferrari 0 hehe
 
MaD_WoG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Age: 31
Posts: 1,290
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

I Dare The Next Person Taht Gets A Speeding Fine To Say That!
__________________
We live in an imperfect world, but
there is no point in trying to make it perfect, because not everyone can be GREEK!

XE Fairmont Ghia... Silver/Grey Met over black, soon to be v8, cant wait till i get another v8, after 3 LONG HARD YEARS


http://home.iprimus.com.au/diablo_vt/xeesp.swf
MaD_WoG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:32   #6 (permalink)
BOFH
 
Casper's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Giving the finger to speedcams
Age: 43
Posts: 7,777
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaD_WoG
I Dare The Next Person Taht Gets A Speeding Fine To Say That!
No thanks as a punch in the face and being hauled off to the lockup is not my idea of a good time.
__________________

Casper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:38   #7 (permalink)
Falcon 2.. Ferrari 0 hehe
 
MaD_WoG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Age: 31
Posts: 1,290
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

casper u rekon u gonna b next in gettin a letter sayin that you have to pay the governtment so they can have a glass of wine with their next meal? (speeding fine tyhats what they are ey?)
__________________
We live in an imperfect world, but
there is no point in trying to make it perfect, because not everyone can be GREEK!

XE Fairmont Ghia... Silver/Grey Met over black, soon to be v8, cant wait till i get another v8, after 3 LONG HARD YEARS


http://home.iprimus.com.au/diablo_vt/xeesp.swf
MaD_WoG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:41   #8 (permalink)
Lyrical Mastermind
 
xf_dude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Goondiwindi, QLD
Age: 27
Posts: 627
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

ROFL now THAT is funny, because its true! lol
__________________
Stay Frosty

"Hey, it compiles! Lets sell it" - What Microsoft probably says about all its products.

If what i'm saying isn't making any sense, im not drunk, im just like this all the time..............ok so maybe im drunk, but thats beside the point...
xf_dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:42   #9 (permalink)
Falcon 2.. Ferrari 0 hehe
 
MaD_WoG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Age: 31
Posts: 1,290
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

whats true?

hey dont jonny coward get like 400 K a year AFTER HE RETIRES?

to me thats BULLSHIT!
__________________
We live in an imperfect world, but
there is no point in trying to make it perfect, because not everyone can be GREEK!

XE Fairmont Ghia... Silver/Grey Met over black, soon to be v8, cant wait till i get another v8, after 3 LONG HARD YEARS


http://home.iprimus.com.au/diablo_vt/xeesp.swf
MaD_WoG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2004, 04:44   #10 (permalink)
BOFH
 
Casper's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Giving the finger to speedcams
Age: 43
Posts: 7,777
Re: Rectum Stretcher! - Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaD_WoG
casper u rekon u gonna b next in gettin a letter sayin that you have to pay the governtment so they can have a glass of wine with their next meal? (speeding fine tyhats what they are ey?)
Probably, I've clocked up quite a few since moving back from Qld. They seem to be attracted to my car for some reason.
__________________

Casper is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Another Blonde Joke Mother Nature The Pub 4 08-04-2004 01:30
Blonde joke stretch The Pub 0 05-12-2002 04:32
joke of the day Jase_ELXR8 The Pub 6 02-19-2002 04:28
nick's gourmet joke of the day 2 MrPlow2 The Pub 0 12-28-2001 05:54
The world's funniest joke? Falchoon The Pub 4 12-20-2001 02:25

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 20:19.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.