How bad a mistake can you make on your resume?
Here are some real-life examples:
-> "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
-> "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."
-> "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
-> "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
-> "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
-> "I am a rabid typist."
-> "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."
-> "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."
-> "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
-> "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
-> "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."
-> "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
-> "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
-> "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."
-> "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
-> "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."
-> "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail."
-> "Qualifications: No education or experience."
-> "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
-> "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
-> "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
-> Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
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