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Old 06-09-2002, 02:20   #1 (permalink)
At the 3FB Cheese Wheel
 
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Resumes

How bad a mistake can you make on your resume?
Here are some real-life examples:


-> "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

-> "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

-> "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

-> "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

-> "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

-> "I am a rabid typist."

-> "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

-> "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

-> "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

-> "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

-> "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

-> "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

-> "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

-> "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

-> "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

-> "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

-> "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail."

-> "Qualifications: No education or experience."

-> "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

-> "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

-> "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

-> Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
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Old 06-09-2002, 06:35   #2 (permalink)
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hehehe... I liked the last one, shorty!!
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Old 06-09-2002, 21:46   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Resumes

Quote:
Originally posted by Jamie XR6

-> "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

have to remember this one when i give mine an update!
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Old 06-09-2002, 23:36   #4 (permalink)
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/me passes those people a "TYPING FELAFEL (tm)"

:MUha:
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