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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-09-02, 03:20 AM Thread Starter
At the 3FB Cheese Wheel
 
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Sydney
Age: 47
Posts: 3,582
Resumes

How bad a mistake can you make on your resume?
Here are some real-life examples:


-> "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

-> "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

-> "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

-> "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

-> "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

-> "I am a rabid typist."

-> "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

-> "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

-> "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

-> "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

-> "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

-> "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

-> "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

-> "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

-> "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

-> "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant."

-> "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail."

-> "Qualifications: No education or experience."

-> "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

-> "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

-> "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

-> Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

My Car's Website: Click Here
Sept 03 BA XR6 Turbo, Silhouette, T5, APS Unichip, BPT short shifter & Momo bits, FPV pedals, Custom Leather, 18" Wheels, PBR sports calipers, Window Tint, Typhoon CAI, Side stripes.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-09-02, 07:35 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Perth
Posts: 1,386
hehehe... I liked the last one, shorty!!

EL driver...
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-09-02, 10:46 PM
LOOKING FORWARD TO NYE!!!
 
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Location: in the land of au
Posts: 2,512
Re: Resumes

Quote:
Originally posted by Jamie XR6

-> "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

have to remember this one when i give mine an update!

A HUGE THANKYOU TO THOSE THAT ATTENDED THE 2004 FORD FORUMS CHRISTMAS CRUISE!!!
IT WAS THE GRAND FINALE` OF VIC CRUISE EVENTS FOR 2004 - LOOK FORWARD TO CATCHING UP WITH YOU ALL IN THE NEW YEAR!!!
CLICK HERE FOR THE REVIEW THREAD


1994 ED XR8 SPRINT
1980 ESCORT PANEL VAN
2003 FAZDA SP20
YAMAHA FZR BIKE

"FPV & XR owners club" & "Ford Four Car Club" member
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-10-02, 12:36 AM
BSR Twin System (tm)
 
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Age: 42
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/me passes those people a "TYPING FELAFEL (tm)"

:MUha:

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Deakin University Formula SAE Car PHANTOM ENGINEERING
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Official BSR Website - www.bsrcorp.com
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BSR "DARTH HELMET (tm)"
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