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Old 06-03-2002, 22:16   #1 (permalink)
 
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Return of the Jedi (director's cut)

A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE
SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off
Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke looks
round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!"

LUKE: "No, that's not true! That's impossible."

DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

LUKE: "NO!"

DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that
queer brass droid of yours?"

LUKE: "Threepio?"

DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old."

LUKE: "No."

DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself,
no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the
swamp."

LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly
destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."

DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I
wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the
Sith...waahhh wahhh!' You make me sick."

LUKE: "Shut up!"

DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had
exterminated the Jedi Knights!"

LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of God, 10 years old, winner of the
Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you
are, but you sure ain't mine. Get out of my sight, you loser!"

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the
shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.

DARTH VADER: "AND GET A HAIRCUT!"
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Old 06-03-2002, 22:43   #2 (permalink)
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I likey
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Old 06-04-2002, 03:39   #3 (permalink)
TS 40
 
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U shure its Return of the Jedi and not EMPIRE STRIKES BACK??? Still good but
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Old 06-04-2002, 06:45   #4 (permalink)
 
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*shrug*
dunno...
i never watched star wars, and i got this in an email at work
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Old 06-06-2002, 18:02   #5 (permalink)
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As an avid Star Wars fan, I absolutely love it!

Very clever
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Old 06-08-2002, 19:53   #6 (permalink)
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StevenAU2 is right, its the ending scenes from Empire Strikes Back, not Return of Jedi. V funny though.
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Old 06-08-2002, 21:21   #7 (permalink)
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ehehehehehehe. Irishman likes
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Old 06-06-2003, 00:58   #8 (permalink)
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hahahaha funny
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Old 06-06-2003, 04:18   #9 (permalink)
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Old 06-06-2003, 06:36   #10 (permalink)
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/me wonders HTF anyone found this year old thread!
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