A UK magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new
scientific theories on ANY subject. Below are the winners:
4th place (Subject: Bio-Mechanics) Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to
equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your
head unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it
3rd place (Subject: Symbolic Logic) The Chinese are technologically
underdeveloped because each of their alphabetical characters represents a
whole word or phrase, rather than a single letter. Thus they cannot use
acronyms to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.
2nd place (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics) Deforestation may cause
earthquakes, tidal waves, or even the total destruction of our planet. Just
as a figure-skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in
close to the body, the cutting down of tall trees may cause the Earth to
spin dangerously fast on its axis with disastrous results.
Winner (Subject: Perpetual Motion) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on
its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.
Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side
up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to
hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were
used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system