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Old 12-21-2003, 13:23   #1 (permalink)
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Something to offend everyone!!!

Thats right something to offend everyone so don't flame me

1. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the

pricks on the outside.



2. What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity



3. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 kilos.



4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes.



5. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None,they just sit

there in the dark and bitch.



6. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp

knife.



7. Why are men and parking spaces alike? Because all the good ones are gone

and the only ones left are disabled.



8. What have men and floor tiles got in common? If you lay them properly the

first time, you can walk all over them for life.



9. Why do men want to marry virgins? >They can't stand criticism.



10. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and

good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.



11. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year,

the dog is still excited to see you.



12. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same

urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



13. What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during

orgasm.



14. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.



15. Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the

dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.



16. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade. Who has the

biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.



17. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mom.



18. How do you know when you're really ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their

eyes closed.



19. How do you know when you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac

tells you, "Lets just be friends."



20. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have

cotton balls.



21. What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? Her navel.



22. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A Bingo

Machine.



23. Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex too.



24. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"



25. What three two-letter words mean small? "Is It In?"



26. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.



27. If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you

have? Divorce proceedings most likely.



28. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Tasmania? Everyone has the same DNA.



29. Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a blonde baby? They named

him Sum Ting Wong.



30. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the

other? A speech impediment.



31. What does it mean when the flag at a US Post Office is flying at half

mast? They're hiring.



32. What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men miss

them all.



33. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have

eyes.



34. Why aren't there any Aboriginals on Star Trek? Because they're not going

to work in the future either.



35. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."



36. What do you call an New Zealand farmer with a sheep under each arm? A

Pimp.



37. What's the difference between a Japanese zoo, and an Australian zoo? A

Japanese zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along

with a recipe.



38. What's the Indonesian National Anthem? Row row row your boat.
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Old 12-21-2003, 14:07   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

lmfao!!

wonder how long its gonna take for some one to take this seriously??
lol

cheers.joe.
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Old 12-21-2003, 14:41   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

Good stuff, made me laugh :) being her at work today, i needed a good laugh : )

Chris
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Old 12-21-2003, 14:53   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

Hahahah! All very funny :D
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Old 12-21-2003, 19:16   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

Hahaha great Paul!!
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Old 12-21-2003, 20:47   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

great stuff. loved them all....
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Old 12-21-2003, 20:53   #7 (permalink)
 
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

Hehehe Had a good laugh
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Old 12-21-2003, 20:55   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

Nice, got a few laughs at work!
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Old 04-08-2004, 23:34   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

Quote:
Why aren't there any Aboriginals on Star Trek? Because they're not going to work in the future either.
ha ha.

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Old 04-09-2004, 01:01   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Something to offend everyone!!!

LMAO! funny stuff, but for number 29. i have a diff joke almost the same but with the same answer

did u hear about the chinese couple that had a baby with ADD?

they called it sum ting wong

same thing i guess, still funny lol
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