Sort of car related...
This guy is flying down the road and he comes over the top of a bridge.
Sure enough, on the other side there is sitting a cop with a radar gun.
The cop pulls the guy over, walks up to the car and asks, "What's the hurry?"
The guy replies, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah", says the cop, "what do you
do?" The guy responds, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop says
"What!?!?!? a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?"
The guy says, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then
three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there
and then, I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."
The cop asks, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?'
The guy replies, "You give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge..."
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'So that was nice.