The last one's a classic!!!
> Subject:The Stella Liebeck Awards
>
> It's once again time to review the winners of the annual
> Stella awards.
>
> The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who
> spilled coffee
> on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case
> inspired the Stella
> Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
> United States.
>
> Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds,
> the teens who
> allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed
> after the 2002
> award voting was closed.
>
> This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.
>
> 5th place (Tied)
>
> Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a
> jury of her
> peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
> inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
> surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was
> Ms.Robertson's Son.
>
> 5th place (Tied)
>
> 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
> medical expenses when
> his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
> Truman apparently
> did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
> he was trying
> to steal the hubcaps.
>
> 5th place (Tied)
>
> Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house
> he had just
> finished robbing by way of the garage door. He was not able to get the
> garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
> malfunctioning. He
> could not reenter the house because the door connecting the
> house and garage
> locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and
> Mr. Dickson
>
> found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted
> on a case of
> Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
> homeowner's
> insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
> anguish. The Jury
> agreed to the tune of $500,000.
>
> 4th Place
>
> Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical
> expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
> neighbor's
> Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
> yard. The award
> was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have
> been a little
> provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over
> the fence into
> the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
> 3rd place
>
> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster
> Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
> broke her coccyx
> (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson
> had thrown it
> at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
>
> 2nd Place
>
> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub in a
> neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
> the floor and
> knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.
> Walton was
> trying to crawl in through the window of the Ladies Room to
> avoid paying the
> $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
>
> And now for annoucing the winner - 1st Place
>
> This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
> Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a new Winnebago motorhome.
> On his trip
> home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
> freeway, he set the
> cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to
> go into the
> back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the
> RV left the
> freeway, crashed and overturned.
>
> Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the
> owner's manual that
> he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him
> $1,750,000 plus a new
> Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their
> manuals on the
> basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete
> morons buying
> their recreation vehicles
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