Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
» Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto Escrow

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-21-2004, 02:05   #1 (permalink)
BA Fairmont ZL Fairlane
 
davway's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: warrnambool
Age: 35
Posts: 3,293
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
>
>RULE #1...If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering
>a package, because you're surely not picking anything up.
>
>RULE #2...You do not touch my daughter in front of me.You may glance at
>her,
>so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep
>your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.
>
>RULE #3...I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age
>to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their
>hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends
>are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this
>issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your
>underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
>However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off
>during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric
>nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
>
>RULE #4...I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without
>utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate,
>when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
>
>RULE #5...In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about
>sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The
>only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to
>have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you
>on this subject is "early."
>
>RULE #6...I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities
>to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my
>daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will
>continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make
>her cry, I will make you cry.
>
>RULE #7...As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to
>appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want
>to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is
>putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the
>Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do
>something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
>
>RULE #8...The following places are not appropriate for a date with my
>daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas or anything softer than a
>wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within
>eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
>Places
>where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear
>shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a
>sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a
>strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided: movies which features
>chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
>
>RULE #9...Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,
>middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I
>am
>the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are
>going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole
>truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
>acres
>behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
>
>RULE #10...Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to
>mistake
>the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice
>paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices
>in
>my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my
>daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your
>car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce
>in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and
>early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.
>The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
__________________
HSV Herpes Simplex Virus
GAME OVER!
davway is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-21-2004, 02:10   #2 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Perana XR8's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,492
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

LOL seen it before i think its been posted here before too still good though
__________________
Ben
Perana XR8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 02:12   #3 (permalink)
BA Fairmont ZL Fairlane
 
davway's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: warrnambool
Age: 35
Posts: 3,293
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

oh well...it IS pretty hard to find something that hasnt been posted here or everyone else has seen on the net before.
__________________
HSV Herpes Simplex Virus
GAME OVER!
davway is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 02:14   #4 (permalink)
_____________________
 
Ambrose_1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,942
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Haha, nice
Ambrose_1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 02:24   #5 (permalink)
gone
 
laminge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,402
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Damm you gotto alot rules

Im sure your daughter has only mentioned 1!!!!
laminge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 02:37   #6 (permalink)
_____________________
 
Ambrose_1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,942
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Quote:
Originally Posted by laminge
Damm you gotto alot rules

Im sure your daughter has only mentioned 1!!!!
Good call Laminge, that cracked me up
Ambrose_1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 07:38   #7 (permalink)
Rip Up The Track Join OFR
 
XRFPV8's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 6,021
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

rule no: 11, what ever you do to my daughter tonight, i will do to you when you bring her home but with a baseball bat..lol...
__________________





PHANTOM BA XR8 UTE, AUTO, UNICHIP, APS TUNED 229 RWKW ET:13.47.

Rods Rocket, Boss n/a 290 Unichip Tuned by APS et:12.6@110 Mph
We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts.


XRFPV8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 08:11   #8 (permalink)
Moderator
 
Timmeh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Newcastle, NSW
Age: 33
Posts: 2,922
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Great thread, good laugh!

Tim
__________________
EUR04D - Ford Focus
The Blue Flame

Mk II Escort RS2000
How much boost?


www.eurofordclub.com
Thanks for 2004, crew.
Timmeh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 08:45   #9 (permalink)
Look! A flying orangutan!
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: perth
Age: 31
Posts: 3,104
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Haha that was a good laugh!
__________________
Proud TQE Operator and President of SEFAG - the Society for the Elimination of Ford Automatic Gearboxes

Pacemaker headers + 2.5" exhaust
EF Fairmont interior
MP3 player
Lowered King springs
5 speed manual
EF motor

Newest mod: EF Ghia wiring loom and dash
mongrelEB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2004, 18:46   #10 (permalink)
Veteran Ford Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Age: 28
Posts: 5,083
Re: Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

An oldie but a goodie
psycho chicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
USA:New rules would protect side-crash victims Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 0 05-13-2004 05:55
U.S.A.:Ford plant rejects team rules Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 0 02-11-2004 07:02
rules for dating my daughter - part II gravelrash The Pub 8 06-30-2003 05:43
Rules For Dating My Daughter! Casper The Pub 36 06-29-2003 00:45
Rules for Dating (Father Style) FM The Pub 25 06-25-2003 07:12

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 23:33.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.