TOW - What's the worst / most awkward thing your parents asked you as a kid?
Dad - "When you and your girlfriend are home alone, I'd like it if you two stayed in the basement or living room with your pants on."
Me - "What happens if they're not on?"
Dad - "I'll shake your hand after I've watched you wash it, and call you a man"
Dad - have you been watching bestiality porn?
Me - Wtf? hell no.
Dad - ok, must be your brother.