The Train Driver ;)
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the
train stop & her son saying,
"All of you bastards who want off, get the hell
off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are
getting on, get your ass in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind
of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there
for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing
with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say,
"All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all
of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today &
hope your trip was a pleasant one."
She hears the little boy continue,
"For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage
under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile,the child added,
"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO
HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the fat bitch in the kitchen."