Warped but funny 21stC statements - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
ยป Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto EscrowInsurance

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-03-2004, 22:58   #1 (permalink)
known as tibbo
 
RaceCraft's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2,033
Warped but funny 21stC statements

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said Implants?"

She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.

11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.

14. How come they choose from just two people to run for US president and 50 for Miss America?

15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

17. Snowmen fall from Heaven un-assembled.

18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:

Don't pick that up, you don't now where it's been!"

19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

21. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.


23. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

24. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl-Alt-Delete' nd start all over?

25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realise you haven't fallen asleep yet.

26. My wife says I never listen to her (at least I think that's what she said).

27. Just remember.... If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

28. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

29. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!

30. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever?
RaceCraft is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-04-2004, 03:28   #2 (permalink)
Lyrical Mastermind
 
xf_dude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Goondiwindi, QLD
Age: 27
Posts: 627
Re: Warped but funny 21stC statements

hahaha number 13, i live by it! lol
__________________
Stay Frosty

"Hey, it compiles! Lets sell it" - What Microsoft probably says about all its products.

If what i'm saying isn't making any sense, im not drunk, im just like this all the time..............ok so maybe im drunk, but thats beside the point...
xf_dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2004, 03:38   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: South Australia
Age: 27
Posts: 792
Re: Warped but funny 21stC statements

all pissers
__________________
'92 NC Ghia, 302w 123.9kw at the wheels, dead stock. Peacock Green. Lots of woodgrain and velour
Tint, Mags (17x8 ROH RT's 235/45), Sunroof, Alarm/Immobliser, GM-X624 Amp, DEH-P8250 H/U, Alpine 2x6 1/4" rear, 6"splits in doors, 1" tweeters in dash.
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."
Quote:
<mrmkII> a tick bit my nuts!!!!
FordFan86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2004, 05:35   #4 (permalink)
Wildlife Photographer
 
VanGelder's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Adelaide, S.A.
Age: 34
Posts: 1,413
Re: Warped but funny 21stC statements

Wicked !, I'm putting 24 in my signature. GOLD !
__________________
Please check out V8FREAKS.COM !
Be sure to drop a line !
VanGelder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2004, 16:32   #5 (permalink)
AU XR6 VCT 'WANNABE'
 
Big Daddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: 'Middle Earth'
Age: 41
Posts: 773
Re: Warped but funny 21stC statements

hahaha That's bloody awesome mate and I can relate to almost all of them.
__________________
Best advice ever given" DON'T PLAY WITH IT...OR IT'LL FALL OFF"
Big Daddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2004, 20:37   #6 (permalink)
Full of useless info!
 
Formerly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Nthn Beaches, Sydney
Age: 32
Posts: 217
Re: Warped but funny 21stC statements

the next time i see a 'guess' tshirt i have a feeling i will walk away with a red mark across my face....
__________________
EF Futura 5spd with....
K&N Air Filter (marginal KW Increase)
K&N Sticker (15kw increase @ the flywheel)
FORD sticker across windscreen (14RWKW increase!!!)
Formerly is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Funny Photo/What th... Thread! Rodderz The Pub 62 11-08-2004 02:45
Ever witness a funny pull-over? GMACK24 Ford Crown Victoria | Mercury Marauder | Grand Marquis | P71 1 10-22-2003 17:41
Some funny pictures for today VH-PBC The Pub 5 07-22-2003 18:53
Chicken Assault - True funny EA S The Pub 6 02-12-2002 20:48
Saw a funny looking Falcon on the way to work today anakha The Pub 6 11-01-2001 06:44

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:23.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.