Having just gotten off the phone to Telstra I think I have finally sussed out what that nice little recorded message that they play while you are waiting means.
It should be something like this:
"Your call is important to us. That's why we are keeping you in an endless queue and feeding you sh*t music that we get royalty free 'cos no one would be stupid enough to pay for it, in the eternal hope that we'll completely piss you off and you'll go away so we don't have to speak to you. Ever.
However. If you are the incorrigible type that simply won't go away and we can't succeed in diconnecting your call, then we have a collection of mindless drones who barely speak English and who have been specifically trained in making promises we can't/won't/ keep or just telling lies in order to get you off the phone so that we can achieve our Key Performance Target of pissed off people today.
Your call may be recorded for the purposes of giving us a massive laugh or to train our operators to be even more obtuse than normal (yes it is possible). If you wish to deny us this small pleasure, please let the operator know.
Every now and then we will interrupt the quality music broadcast to either make you believe that your call has progressed in the queue (it hasn't) or to try and sell you another product we can't/won't/don't know how to, supply.
Thank you for calling and if you haven't torn out what's left of your hair then we have failed in our duty to you the Customer."