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Old 12-17-2004, 20:03   #1 (permalink)
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Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

This week an old friend of mine took his own life in a rather violent way. It shocked me, not that he's gone, but rather the way he went. I think I'm still in shock. My question is how do people get to the point that they feel this is something they need to do? I've been depressed too, I've thought about suicide also but going through with it is something that I don't think I can comprehend. His funeral is on Monday and I'm afraid that I'll just lose it when I see his wife and two young kids there.
Geez people, every night has a dawn. We all go through tough times but that's what life is about. You have to take all the positives and all the negatives and together they make who you are. I'm glad I've been through tough times and I think I'd be a pretty shallow and boring person if I hadn't. I just love life way too much, I love myself way too much and I love everyone in my life way too much to take my own life.
Sorry to ruin anyone's day.


See ya Simon.
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Old 12-17-2004, 20:07   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

I've often wondered how people can get to the point they feel they have to kill themselfs too, but then I'm only 17 so I have alot to learn about life (so I'm told by seniors).
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Old 12-17-2004, 20:30   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

I am sorry to hear of your friend. My condolences.

Suicide is a real sensitive topic. As you say we all have gone through some real tough stages in life. Some of us can't handle it or express a way to ask for help. I'm lucky I have good friends and family that have helped me through the rough patches. Some don't have this. Others as I said don't express much emotion. They just don't believe the new day will bring much change. You just have to watch how they act.

In this day and age, pressure on young people is so intense that suicide is an option. It sounds bad but it is true. They are expected to do well in school, sports, work, socially, etc. I guess all we can do is make sure we are there for our friends and family. Make sure all is ok with them.
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Old 12-17-2004, 20:33   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

You have had to be there to feel the lows. I can understand how people can feel this way, when depressed nothing seems worthwhile.

Depression is a major menace. As for those people that turn and say a suicide victim is selfish doing this to friends & family, well they haven't a clue.

Chrismas is a happy time, but it can the lowest time for some, look out for those close to you and try to see the signs, it's all about help not blame.
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Old 12-17-2004, 20:39   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

Sometimes the darkness is all too consuming.

In darkness its all too easy to lose your way.....you just lose sight of EVERYTHING.....

My condolences.
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Old 12-17-2004, 21:30   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

Ive often wondered myself how someone gets to the point of where they cant take it anymore, its really sad thinking about it. Like others have said I love life to much, there so much about it thats great! If only these people could see the good side of life. But once darkness sets in, it can consume some people and they cant see anything but it. If only these people would let us know what their going through so we can help them and show them why life is so great.
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Old 12-17-2004, 21:49   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

I think too many people are under too much pressure these days. Feeling like the whole world is against you and that no one appreciates anything that you do is a real downer, and some people see suicide as a way out. It's always sad to see anyone of any age take their own life, especially if no one saw it coming. What's worse is that their actions leave a huge burden on their parents, family, friends, etc. I've never known anyone really close to me that has taken their own life, but I have heard of it happening to others, and it's depressing to hear, let alone have to experience it with a close friend of yours. At time like this you feel as if you want to change your own life just to ensure others don't get upset and do something like this. Sorry to hear about your loss and I hope your friend rests in peace.
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Old 12-17-2004, 21:49   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheahman
If only these people would let us know what their going through so we can help them and show them why life is so great.
They usually dont know it or wont accept its a problem.
Its a medical condition, it is an actual illness.
Until you go through it or are close to someone who is going through it, it is totally impossible to understand.
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Old 12-17-2004, 21:55   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

Im sorry to hear that Simon. That's really tragic. Especially leaving a wife and kids behind. They probably dont understand why either.

I agree, everyone has tough times in their lives, I know, Ive had a few. And sometimes you do get down and it seems so hard to get back up. And sometimes when you fight it and try and get on your feet again, something will kick you right back down. When it happens enough times, you do get to thinking these sorts of things. And sometimes it is so hard to keep fighting against it all, and you want to just give up - and make no mistake, for some, life is one big fight, one big battle. I guess for some it seems like ending it will bring peace, of a kind.

I think each person is different as to how they deal with life. Some people seem to just have the ability to suck it all up and move on to the next challenge. Others just dont have the coping skills to get past the pain and move on. We are all different. And life CAN be REAL harsh to some, and there's just some people who seem to be born to have everything go wrong. And if you feel you are one of those people, life can just seem sooo not worth the fight.

This time of the year is hard, as some have said, because everyone is happy and cheery with all their mates and relatives. Some people have nothing, so their depression is exacerbated by the festive season. It seems to highlight what people are missing in their lives and perhaps magnify the pain of things lost.

Sometimes there is not much we, as bystanders, can do about it and thats hard too. All we can do is stand by our mates and relatives, and be there when they need us, even for little shit. Just as long as they know we are here, that can be enough at times. And if we cant do any more than that, then we just have to accept that's all we can do. It is very hard to change someones state of mind, at the end of the day.

Perhaps this sort of thing makes us consider how good our own lives are, be thankful for the good things we DO have and to remind us to keep our eyes open and look out for those in our lives.

Simon, I hope the family are ok and that you are too. Its hard on people who experience it too. Take care over Christmas.

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Old 12-17-2004, 22:21   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Why do people do it? **warning, depressing**

Steve

Some people have said to me that this is the ultimate cry for help, others are less kind. Christmas and New Year generally sees an increase in the rate of suicide, everyone seems so happy so it magnifies the feelings of those suffering from depression.

Depression, and obviously I am making an assumption here, is becoming a greater problem in our society.

If people want to help instead of buying flowers for a funeral give a donation to an organisation such as "Beyond Blue" who do a great deal of work with people who suffer from clinical depression.

Beyond Blue's web site

My thoughts are with you and the family that remains.


Regards


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