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Old 09-01-2004, 06:39   #1 (permalink)
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Wise sayings from celebrities.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--- Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
---Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
--- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
--- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he
lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady ... and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--- Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--- Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--- Robert DE Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--- Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think: ''I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--- Rod Stewart

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--- Robin Williams
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Old 09-01-2004, 06:41   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--- Jack Nicholson
haha they are all good. But that one cracks me up so much.
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Old 09-01-2004, 07:00   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Hahahahaha.

Some pearlers!
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Old 09-01-2004, 07:03   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
--- Arnold Schwarzenegger


Lol, Arnies a mad kunt. Im leaning towards Republicans cause hes so cool, hehe.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--- Jack Nicholson


In Russia there is a saying that goes "Yop tvayu mat(ce)"

It means "**** your mother" and can be used in teh same context as "****en hell" over here.

My mum dosent get the irony either...
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Old 09-01-2004, 07:10   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

hahaha great ones!

A great one from Steve Martin; "You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither"
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Old 09-01-2004, 08:31   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
---Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--- Jack Nicholson

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--- Roseanne
Those three crack me up! Steve Jobs either is REALLY nerdy, or loves to crack jokes at his own expense...

My mother used to call my brother a son-of-a-bitch too!

And Roseanne, yes, well, all I'll say is that I'm glad I don't have to live with her!
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Old 09-01-2004, 11:00   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Some great ones there, thanks for sharing "LuvinmyEB"
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Old 09-01-2004, 12:04   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB


"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--- Robin Williams
my favourite..
thumbs up
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Old 09-01-2004, 18:04   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--- Billy Crystal
Have always liked that one...can't remember which movie it is from...I think it was City Slickers.
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Old 09-01-2004, 19:39   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Wise sayings from celebrities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think: ''I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--- Rod Stewart

My two favourites!

Classic laughs...
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