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Old 10-23-2004, 07:03   #1 (permalink)
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writing piece, analyse? what do you think?

Spontaneous decisions and the concept of thinking too much about thinking...

It's uncanny how a simple decision can be made in the time it takes for your heart to beat. For your mind to change from thinking one thing to thinking another. But this thought is not random, it is a thought to change your thoughts in the near and distant future. Something has changed, as a result of this thought. The outcome of the weeks to come will be different to what they were inside your head just a moment ago. But how does that work? Questions come across that ask how can the mind be changed so quickly?

Spontaneous thoughts are something that are a given - to me anyhow. Yes, they were given to me. Does this make me any lesser of a person? A question comes from my mind that wonders whether at the end of the day, making a spontaneous decision is something that can create a disaster. Cannot any decision made by a single person ultimately become a disaster? Does the speed of which a decision is made have any known impact in comparison to the decision itself? I assume that this can only be really narrowed down to a case by case situation.

Pondering away I question, am I in trouble for making this decision? I believe that a decision can be made either spontaneously or over a period of time. I believe that the thought that is put into the situation does not necessarily need to be drawn out. Perhaps it's about how ones mind works, not about how much they care about the situation. Perhaps I am incorrect in my analysis of what makes a spontaneous decision and what impact they have.

Does a decision made quicker than someone might say it should have, make it any less of a decision? Does it make it any less important? I believe that if a decision is made quickly, it could create a different attitude towards things. Perhaps if everyone thought a little quicker and perhaps a little less deeper about the situation, things may work out on a completely different level. Though, would they be as effective? Am I talking about decisions made within a business, made within a persons mind about their life, who's to say? I am reflecting on a spontaneous decision that I made not long ago, but ever since I made said decision, I have pondered the efficiency of this decision.

On another level, perhaps what has brought me to this point is the fact that I am having second thoughts. I know that I am not going to change my mind, but as before anything, the negatives arise. The questions of 'what am I doing?', 'where is this going to take me?', etc. I watch before me as the world tries to give reason for and against a decision that I made that was on a spontaneous level that could rival a boxer.

What I have come to realise is something that could make or break me. What I would like to bring to attention is a certain word, to which I have notice can actually break someone, break someone down into a mode of which their intelligence strains so hard to answer a question to which their mind cannot come up with an answer to. The word is thoughts.

Thoughts.

Thoughts are something that can destroy a person for a time. A victim of it myself, I can emphasise the seriousness to what I am writing about - and going to write about. A need to question things, why they are happening, what are they doing, what are these things going to amount to, where are these things going to take me? The worst of all, is thinking about your thoughts. Thinking about the fact you're thinking - and letting these thoughts walk all over you. Each step pushing your face further into the dirt and almost suffocating you in its rage. A rage that's created purely by your own mind, but a rage that is something uneasy to overcome in a short period of time.

You can drown yourself for hours in a midst of thoughts that could be so irrelevant that you don't know where you're sitting. You don't know why these thoughts have filled your mind, perhaps you're bored, or perhaps you're in a mood that is unexplainable but can be shortchanged into depression. A desire to be on top of all of the problems that exist in your existance. A desire to be rid of all the things that can stop you in your tracks only to be in a daze of the things that are your past, your present, and your future.

I myself am not the only example of this. I know of others. I know of others that are subject to the imminent thoughts that can be created by a lack of completeness. Lack of feeling that everything is okay. It is then that you understand why you're thinking the way you're thinking, and where it might have started it from. For this poor creature here, what brings on these thoughts is a feeling that everything is clearly not okay. Everything is in the shade and nothing is shining. It's the beginning of depression, the thoughts fill my head like the wine fills the glass, I rise up in thoughts of things that are destroying my world, holding me back from what I want to achieve, holding me back from thinking purely, holding me back from thinking normally about the things in my life. Something must be done. A perfect soul must realise that these things can be overcome.

Thinking about thinking. It's a train on track to go nowhere, it will roll down the track, and get to the end, and realise that the track took it nowhere, only to return from where it came from. It's something that can drive you into a ground like a hammer. Belting you harder and deeper with every thrust, and once you're buried, you are stuck. Stuck inside that piece of wood with no way to get out. Until you realise that you're thinking about something you don't need to think about.

This is where my spontaneous decision comes to play. Sitting in a position where I cannot move my legs, cannot lift myself up to remove myself from a disgrace that I am unhappy with. A feeling that only I can change my situation, but questioning how. How can one change something that is so solid and is ultimately making you worse? An opportunity arises, and without a thought, I grab the opportunity, say "Hey, this opportunity is mine, I'm going to take it."

With that, the backside of the hammer shows itself, pulls me out of my hole, and let's me walk free, with a clear mind.

This decision has not had its impact yet. It's side effects have not been felt. In essence I believe that I am happy to deal with anything that comes with it. At a time where things can be done at any stage, it will not effect my life to a huge extent. Decisions can be undone. However, would this mean that the decision was ineffective? Inefficient? Would it mean that the decision, had it have been thought through more carefully, and for a longer period of time, would have had a different and more successful outcome?

At the end of it all, you have to wonder what actions can make the biggest impact on your life - and are they justified? I think that in a life that we live in now, spontaneous thoughts, decisions and actions are what makes life interesting. Thinking about things entirely too much causes damage, with your mind going into the detail, over and over again. Your mind weighs the positives and the negatives, outlines what can happen, what may happen and what can't happen.

Through this process, you will eliminate the risk of doing wrong. You will eliminate the essence to which your dramas can occur, and eliminate the fun in being spontaneous and making decisions without a heart beat. Perhaps we can think that in this example, we are only talking about your life, your personality, the way you act. The decisions that can change your mental state, ultimately changing your life.

I for one, vote for spontaneous decisions. I vote for spontaneous movements. I vote for spontaneous thoughts, doings, dontings, wantings, hatings, rulings. Spontaneous is a way of living, from now on. Let's not eliminate the fun, let's be wild and take risks. Taking this world too seriously will only mean you wont get out alive.
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