You can never trust a sailor
A young woman in Sydney was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbour.
She was about to leap into the freezing water when a young sailor saw her crying at the edge of the wharf at Circular Quay.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America tomorrow, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in the lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a peice of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said, "this is the Manly Ferry."