>You think of Philadelphia as the Midwest.
>You think it's your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic.
>You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).
>You think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
>All your pets are named after Celtics or Bruins.
>You refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
>Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry mood.
>You don't think you have an attitude.
>You always 'bang a left' as soon as the light turns green, and
>traffic always expects it.
>Everything in town is "a five minute walk."
>When out of town, you think the natives of the area are all whacked.
>You still can't bear to watch highlights from game 6 of the 1986 World
>You have no idea what the word compromise means.
>You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
>You don't realize that you walk and talk twice as fast as everyone
>You're anal, neurotic, pessimistic and stubborn.
>You think if someone is nice to you, they must want something or are
>out of town.
>Your favorite adjective is "wicked."
>You think 63° ocean water is warm.
>You think the Kennedy's are misunderstood.
>When we say _____, we mean
>Flahwiz roses, etc.
>Hahpahst minutes after the hour
>Hahwahya? how are you?
>Khakis what we staht the cah with
>Shewah of course
>Yiz you, plural
>Popcahn popular snack
>How We'll Know You Weren't Bon Heah:
>You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.
>You ask directions to "Cheers."
>You order a grinder and a soda.
>You follow soccer.
>You eat at Durgin Park.
>You pronounce it "Worchester" or Glouchester."
>You call it "COPELY" Square.
>Frappes have ice cream; milk shakes don't.
>If it's fizzy and flavored, it's tonic. Soda is club soda. Pop is Dad.
>we mean tonic WATER, we say tonic WATER.
>The smallest beer is a pint.
>Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
>If you paid more than $6 a pound, you got scrod.
>It's not a water fountain, it's a bubblah.
>It's not a trash can, it's a barrel.
>It's not a shopping cart, it's a carriage.
>It's not a purse, it's a pockabook.
>Brown bread comes in a can. You open both ends, push it out, heat it
>eat it with baked beans.
>They're not franks, they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.
>Things NOT to Do:
>Don't call it "Beantown."
>Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They'll tow it to Meffa (Medford)
>Don't swim in the Charles, no matter what Bill Weld tells you.
>Don't sleep in the Common.
>Don't wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
>Things You Should Know:
>There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses and two
>buildings (one old, one new).
>Route 128 is also I-95. It is also I-93.
>It's the Sox, The Pats (or Patsies if they're losing), the Seltz, the
>The underground train is not the subway. It's the T and it doesn't run
>night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
>Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda. Arlington, Berkeley,
>Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D.
>If the streets are named after trees (Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're
>Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets you're in Wellesley.
>All avenues are properly referenced by their nicknames: Comm Ave.,
>Ave., Dot Ave.
>Dot is Dorchester, Rozzie Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain. Readville
>The North-East-South-West Thing:
>Southie is South Boston. The South End is the South End.
>Eastie is East Boston. The North End is east of the West End.
>The West End and Scollay Square are no morea guy named Rappaport got
>of them one night.
>The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury. Due north of the
>find the South End. This is not to be confused with South Boston,
>lies directly east from the South End.
>North of the South End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is
>North End. Back Bay was filled in years ago