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Old 12-11-2003, 05:30   #1 (permalink)
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biggrin Your pets inner thoughts revealed...

As seen in a dog's diary:

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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Old 12-11-2003, 06:46   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Your pets inner thoughts revealed...

Thats a good one mate, no wonder I fkn hate cats !
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Old 12-11-2003, 07:02   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Your pets inner thoughts revealed...

yah cats suck !

Go Dogs ! ! ! !
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Old 12-11-2003, 13:54   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Your pets inner thoughts revealed...

Hahahaha!!! That's a corker!!

bloody cats
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Old 12-11-2003, 13:54   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Your pets inner thoughts revealed...

WOOF WOOF
Talking about dogs, I got rang up yesterday by the local council and a lady stated that my dog ripped her dogs ear off and I jumped into my car and sped off. This is a legit story. He asked for my story I told him that his dog a lab come running over to my car with his lead off at the local beach. My dog was on his lead mind you he is only a 10kg (Blue healer X silky Terrier). The dog come over and my dog whimpered to the ground I know because I was there, then he had a go at the dog for like a 1 second stint and the other dog just cruised away casually like dumb labs do. I dried my dog for another 5 minutes then drove off but yet i was getting a accused for doing a runner WTF????

I explaind to this bloke that i go there all the time and my dog has no dramas with other dogs and they day before he was quiet happy playing with 2 german sheperds twice his size. I said mate my dog got frightened because this dog came running over and he didnt know what to do. Plus the dog wasnt hanging off this things ear for a few minutes which would cause the $200 bill this lady is claiming that my dog had done. And my dog was also on a lead and its signed that "please keep your dog on a lead". He said the lady said your dog was a medium to large dog, I laugh and say well 10kg is a huge dog isnt it, he laughs back and says there is no evidence here dont worry about it here story is all wrong i said yeah no worries. What gets me is this lady didnt even see any of this incident at all. She was already around 400 meters away with here kids and a dune between us (I was in the car park) she was just speculating that happened. Now for someone to say a 10kg dog is a medium to large dog has to be blind for starters.

In the end the bitch probably slammed her poor dogs head into the car door and that made his ear injured who bloody knows but what gets me is I know for a fact my dog did nothing to her dog i was right there, but yet I could of had to pay this bitches Vets bills. WHAT A JOKE. If i see this lady down there again i think i might laugh and ask her how the $200 is going.
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Old 12-11-2003, 20:47   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Your pets inner thoughts revealed...

AUS1SIXA, glad you didn't get caught up with that bodge crap...
I'd let it slide tho, and just not talk to her at all. She's made one false complaint already (and although further ones are going to be viewed with suspicion), and to talk to her might lead to "he verbally abused, and then physically threatened me" style complaint. Not worth the stress. Who knows, maybe she's wacko ?

Yeah, love the dogs. Unfortunately my elderly dog died a few months back, so the house is quiet atm. Planning on getting a husky when I move out tho. I never had much time for cats, but I've actually found my gf's cat very friendly, and quite like it.... Weird :)

Anyone else remember evil bill and evil ted's approach on cats ?

Last edited by XR8 Lamah; 12-11-2003 at 20:50.
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