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Ford plays a fast, furious, fanciful name game

951 views 0 replies 1 participant last post by  Stacy94PGT 
#1 ·
2-10-03
By Paul Lienert / Special to Autos Insider

Is the automotive world--at least here in the Western hemisphere-- ripe for the return of the Falcon? The Fairlane? The Fairmont?

In case you hadn't heard, Ford Division is planning to rechristen the 2004 successor to its Windstar van with a name that starts with the letter F--something like Freestar that supposedly will fit with its upcoming Freestyle crossover vehicle, not to mention its compact Focus. The 2006 replacement for the Taurus may also get an F name, we're told.

Too bad they didn't pick the letter D--as in Dumb and Dumber.

Steve Lyons, who heads the division, is said to have told Ford dealers last week at the National Automobile Dealers Association annual convention: "It's time to signal a change. It's not something we took lightly."

As if that weren't enough, fellow brand Mercury has latched on to the alliterative naming scheme, following up its Mountaineer and Marauder this fall with the 2004 Monterey, its companion to the redesigned Windstar, er, Freestar, er, whatever.

This all reminds me of a family I know with eight girls--all with names that start with the letter J. I'm not sure if they ran out of patience trying for a boy or just ran out of J names.

Ford shouldn't have that problem. It's nowhere near running out of F names. Even the bestselling full-size pickup is known generically as the F-series.

But the christening scheme hits a snag when you consider iconic names such as Mustang and Thunderbird that are virtual brands in their own right. It also doesn't account for well-known nameplates from Ford's past, including Galaxie, Maverick, and LTD (although it does explain why the new near-luxury sedan is being called Five Hundred, rather than the more traditional 500: that pesky F, get it?).

I'm still waiting for the company to revive one of my favorites badges, Ranchero, on some future pickup, with a companion crossover model called the Ranch Wagon. Bet the Bush White House would eat that up.

Mercury's adherence to the naming scheme is less problematic, considering all the M names from its past: Montego, Montclair, Meteor, Monarch, Medalist.

It's too bad they can't revive some of the more unusual nameplates they had back in the Fifties and Sixties, including such simple yet evocative appellations as Breezeway and Spoiler, not to mention the lofty Park Lane (also Parklane), the athletic-sounding Sun Valley, and the ever-popular Turnpike Cruiser.

The Mercury brand has used lots of C names, too, including such well-known monikers as Comet and Cougar, not to mention Cyclone, Caliente, Colony Park, Country Cruiser, and Commuter.

C names have also been popular with the Lincoln brand, which has marketed the Continental, the Cosmopolitan, and the Capri (later borrowed by Mercury, which also stole Zephyr from its more illustrious sibling).

While we're on the subject of names, Jaguar continues to confuse me with its XK (two-door), XJ (large four-door), and X-type (small four-door).

But I think I'm beginning to understand the new Volvo alphanumeric system, which uses a letter to denote body type (S for sedan, V for wagon, XC for utility vehicle) and a number to denote size (even numbers for sedan, odd for wagons and utility vehicles).

Mazda is simplifying that process even further, using a single number on most of its future models, but only in export markets. And, for some reason, they insist on smashing the number into the end of the Mazda brand name. Thus, the home-market Mazda Atenza becomes the Mazda6 in North America, the Mazda Demio is the Mazda2 in Europe, and so on.

I thought Ford's Aston Martin brand had some sanity, with its DB7 Vantage coupe and Volante convertible. When the new "baby" Aston is unveiled in another year or two, my assumption was that it would be christened DB5. "No," countered an Aston insider, "we'll probably just call it the AMV8."

Oh, yeah. I see the logic there. Right.

It's clear to me that Ford needs one of those specialist companies that uses computers and space age technology to generate fanciful-sounding product names that have no basis in reality.

Names like Crestliner, Sunliner, Starliner...
 
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