Hey Swampy,
I know 1st hand how frustrating a starting problem can be, I've spent about 7 months trying to eliminate mine and although mine seems to occur under different circumstances I've included my thread as there are so many suggestions for things to look for.
EL Fairmont starting problem - HELP!
I’m basically living with it; just doing the ignition-on-off-on-off thing keeps me sane.
A few things to check...
fuel pump relay, clogged injectors, see if it's easier to start with a full tank of fuel (mine seems to get cranky as the level got low). Also does the angle of the car matter (elevating the rear of mine by 30deg helped!), fuel pump, fuel pressure regulator….
What about immobilisation? Is the BEM telling the ECU to allow injectors to open? Is your CILA ok? I don't know, considering the thing works 2nd try, you may have and electrical gremlin, not fuel. Try a noid light anyway. Is there black smoke from exhaust when she cranks (rich mixture)? Coolant temp sensor? Tried new plugs, leads etc?
Just out of interest guys, is there an easy way to extend the amount of time that the fuel pump initially spins for in order to pressurise the fuel rail? I mean it only spins for a second or so and I find that when cold I need to ignition-on-ignition-off a few times to get a *reasonable* start (it's all in the wrist :) ).
A software tweak is too much trouble – despite the fact that I spend every day writing software!