Join Date: May 2003
Location: Far S.E. Melbourne
MadMobile Chronicles Episode 2
Whole pick-up process having taken almost two hours, finally I’m on the road. Gently does it, not yet understanding what lie beneath my right foot. Cruised at the 80 limit up the main drag very watchful for any enemies (ie. all other drivers) that might want to merge with me. Visibility, I quickly found, is one of the funnest aspects of the ute. A head-check for other vehicles is basically useless, just clench and assume that people will make way. Even though I didn’t go for a loud colour, I think it’s safe to assume that people are unlikely to “not see” 5metres and 1800kg of brute-metal.
Anyway I get to the first turn-off, cutting towards home, straighten it up and thought “what happens when I do this?”…….WOOOOOF…..4grand and the beast rears it’s head. First thing to cross my mind was “MUMMMYY! The bad thing is scaring me!” and second “mental note, new fetish, must do again.”
Took it easy the rest of the way home to Mrs. Madder. Frantically we loaded up the cab, showed off to the neighbours (Falcon Ute Fans) and set-off. First stop the outlaws for more showing-off. Mrs. Madder’s step father; “not bad, looks like a Holden now”. First thing to cross my mind was “where’s the wheel-wrench” and second “mental note, must lure into ute, lock the doors, release the beast, tame the lion”. Decided to leave the unworthy and quickly onto the freeway for the 200k drive to Bendigo.
Mrs. Madder settled right in to the leather and cranked up the sound (unfortunately drowning out that other sound). I had already loaded it full of CD’s myself as a check at pick-up and so was rightly happy with the soundtrack. Noticed that the tweeters in the pillars are pretty effective bouncing off the windscreen. All in all it was a bit of an edgy drive as the nerves were a bit overloaded with all the excitement mixed with dark and sometimes dodgy roads. Hardly had a chance to admire the bulge I was being so focussed on the road ahead.
Had to struggle with three things for the whole trip:
The urge to push the go-pedal.
The urge to turn on the foggies.
The ridiculously light-steering at freeway speeds.
Had to admire another three things for the whole trip:
Excellent cabin comfort from seats to stereo.
Instruments look horn at night.
Hills do not exist.
The one thing that really frustrated me was the electronic, knee-activated, throttle limiter. My bloody knee kept colliding with the boxy remote hanging from it’s chain. Very silly stuff as it was seriously interfering at some points. Have replaced the keyring with a smaller one but it’s still a problem.
Got to the Brian Boru Irish pub 2 and a 1/4 hours and 200k later. Realised this beast is going to make me a tea-totaller. I am happy to forgo the drink to be totally “there” when driving it. Sprung it on me dad and one of my sisters. How I kept it a secret for four months I don’t know but anyway they were blown away. Drove back to the folks and put it in the car port where my mom parks. She pulled in home from work at midnight and came in asking “what’s that thing in the backyard about”. Funny thing I keep getting is “obviously not thinking about kids then?”. Course we are, put a plastic dropsheet in the back, fill it with water and presto, mobile wading-pool. Kids have gotta love it.
Next episode… time to have some fun.
Stay tuned for the next chapter of the Madmobile Chronicles. Same Mad time, same Mad channel.
Possessed by FF and the Silver Devil