Re: 3 questions
1 - I'd try to push for the rebuilt parts versus the software update!
2 - Most newer vehicles can go longer on an oil change as engine rpm has been lowered by 5 or 6 speed transmissions, and lower rear axle ratios so it creates less friction on moving parts, and thus less wear and longer oil life. Conventional oil, if you drove 100% highway can last upwards of 12,000kms! It's driving in the city that hurts the most.
3 - gotta love stealerships, lol
'00 Durango R/T 360ci 290hp (modded); 138,500m
'06 Pontiac G6 GT 3.5L 220hp; 44,000m
'12 Chrysler 200 Limited 3.6L 283hp; 13,000m
'99 Taurus 3.0L 2V Vulcan 145hp; 154,300m - Traded
Amsoil in all vehicles!