INSANE race tactics (LONG!)
Just thought I'd post this up here.. not sure if this guy was for real or what..
It's bascially a guide to lowering the weight of the car as much as possible for drag/track work (probably more drag though.. wouldn't wanna have such a.. mutilated car on a track for long).. Enjoy!
a) remove lead acid battery replace with 8 C cells
alkaline; you might even use AA if the ignition system is cdi or similar.
b) remove starter motor use push to start
c) remove fuel tank and lines use a bottle under the bonnet
d) inflate tyres with Nitrogen, its lighter than air, or even use NEON if you can get it. Helium might be good but need to fill immediatly before start as it
will leak out very quickly, also expensive but is available; hydrogen is a cheap alternative but explosive - has giveaway smell; the H2 molecule is much larger than the He, H2 is cheaper, H2 is the preferred option.
f) run sump, transmission,systems with minimal fluids; run cooling with 90 % glycol 10% water just to keep seals wetted, unpressurised, no thermostat, maybe put a ping pong ball under thermostat housing if it wont block, cut wasted space/weight; remove all hose clips they are not needed when system is unpressurised, assuming all hoses are in good condition and fit properly; remove car internal heater and block off, remove overflow reservoir and block off
e) eat 3 sachets of picoprep (sodium picosulfate) 4 hours before start;
cut hair,pick nose carefully, plucking is better than cutting if you can hold the little chuckers; fingernails, (after nose, toenails can be done in any order), squeeze all zits, syringe ears with warm water/detergent, this actually give 2db hearing improvement you will be in better touch with the engine; remove all belly button lint, see to wife/girl properly the night before, and again as close to the race as facilities and inclinations permit, resort to manual if need be; this can fail due to lack of scenery; quality motoring magazines can help; dress appropriately; use contacts not glasses
g) be aware of physiological shock associated with dehydration - carry just enough H20 to stay fully functional throughtout race, more is lead in your saddles; if you faint at the wheel, the responsibility is same as with pca - all YOURS!
h) ladies accessories from any supermarket can assist to minimise carried water; a range of diameters is available; do not use fluid for application this is the opposite of what we're trying to achieve.... look... if you're not prepared to go the extra mile butt out and please show some respect those who are!!!
dont forget to discard (find a uni-s facility with the bins, these are not welcome in usual outlets)
i) electromagnetic fan should be failsafe design so coil energised means fan not going. remove the coil. but if the manufacturer has designed it so the coil needs to be energised to make the fan rotate, then modify the clutch so it is locked. flame the manufacturer on a suitable site...if its a viscous fan clutch, drain the viscous material and lock it with glue or similar
j)remove unnecesarry parts of wiring harness. it may actually be better to remove the entire harness, and refit only the necessary wires.
k)ENGINE ETCHING. not for fainthearts.
water jacket inside has heaps of spare metal, this can be etched away. prepare by running at high temp for several hours, fully pressurised with the highest pressure rated cap you can find, temp must exceed 120C, with ammonium carbonate in water. this will presoak all seals with alkaline. then run, unpressurised, with dilute HYDROFLOURIC ACID, eg from hub cap cleaner. NEVER get HFL on skin, you will be in so much pain you will BEG for AMPUTATION. run without pressure cap, without thermostat, for as long as you are game. keep adding HFl solution to remove more metal. drain and refill.
this is the way ham radio operators trim their crystals to the right frequency. only HFL will etch glass.
etching should remove all powder rust coating, and several hundred microns of unnecesasry metal from the water jacket. its hard to know when to stop - maybe use your intuition here. winning is important, isnt it?
when water is coming into the sump, you've gone too far. pressure testing of the water jacket and stop soon as the smallest amount of leaking is detected, then maybe use a sealant, would be the most aggressive option a reasonable person would contemplate. alternatively, you could decide on the quantity of metal, eg 1kg, and use measured amount of acid. two flourine atoms per iron atom. use a chemistry text.
alloy head and cast iron block have the problem that the al is more attractive to the ultra randy H+ radicals than the Fe. therefore, get a power supply that can deliver 1V at 100A into 10 milliohms, connect negative to the iron block positive to the alloy head.
a battery charger isnt really suitable its not designed to drive a short circuit. maybe take out each head bolt, paint it, put a thin plastic or fibre washer underneath, to try to increase the electrical resistance between head and block. depending on which electronegativity table you believe, you need either 220mV (pauling) or 490mV(! sanderson) the Fe has got to be more negative by that amaount than the Al, then
the H+ will leave the Al alone, and mate exclusively with the Fe, which would be a very good thing indeed.
m) remove all power steering stuff. use muscle instead.
l) accessories belt. its over engineered. cut carefully in half or third along its length.since alternator and aircond no longer fitted, belt is not correct length. cut and revulcanise to right length,
with tension adjusting mechanism removed.
o) get several electric drills, and many drill bits. have a barbecue give each guest a drill. all tubes etc out of bounds.
when drilling the block and head, need to be able to seal holes gone too deep. drop in a ball bearing of right size and silver solder in place.
as this nears completeion, it should look partly transparent all over.
q)replae the oil filter with a stub. a sawn off empty can with lower volume to reduce weight. the oil just comes out and goes back. of course you are using new clean fully synthetic. arent you.
p) regarding the matter at the hub of point e) if the whole team gets involved the increased karma and feng chui will rubb off on the major effort. it is a paradox of automotive engineering that complete novices roped in here at the last minute can be of as much or even more assistance than tried and true leathery seasoned old hands.
TQE, SWB, ATPS, Worst of the E-series.. and I wouldn't have it any other way