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Old 01-28-2006, 23:01   #1 (permalink)
Daniel J. Stern
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Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

Dear Mr. Ford:

I see you're having tough times lately. It sounds as if you realise
this is mostly because people don't want to buy the cars you've got on
offer. That new Ford Five Hundred sedan, and its Lincoln and Mercury
rebadged versions, are total sales flops for you, which has got to be
tough to stomach. But it's not all bad news; your salvation, at least
from the product side of the equation, is right in your own backyard,
in Australia. I mention this because it's been the case for about 12
years now and you and your predecessors seem not to have noticed it.

Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
http://www.fpv.com.au/index.asp?link_id=2.440 . Definitely bring this
high-zoot version, sure, but also bring the more docile Falcons like
the ones shown at http://www.ford.com.au/range/falcon/models/ . The
2-doors, the 4-doors, the station wagons, and the utes:
http://www.ford.com.au/range/falconute/models . Replace the aging and
dangerous Clown Victoria with the Fairlane:
http://www.ford.com.au/range/fairlane/models/ , and every cop shop and
taxi company will buy your cars because they want to, not because they
have to.

Pay attention, Mr. Ford, for this is the important part: *Don't ****
them up*. Bring them intact. Do the bare minimum of changes necessary
to comply with North American safety standards: Left-hand driving
position, DOT-certified headlights and taillights, sidemarker lights
and reflectors, US-spec airbags instead of the safer Australian ones,
that kind of thing, sure, but don't downgrade the suspension, brakes,
tires or anything else to bring the car in line with what you perceive
as "American tastes". Your notions of "American tastes" are obviously
in dire need of recalibration, and the machines linked herein are just
the tools to do so. Most imperatively, don't replace the world-class
4-litre inline Six engine these cars have with the mediocre V6s you've
heretofore foisted on North Americans. Do what is necessary to ensure
that quality is built into the cars, not slapped on as an advertising
slogan. Bring the cars *intact* from Australia.

You don't sell anything I want, Mr. Ford, and you haven't for decades.
But do this, Mr. Ford, and I'll buy one. Maybe even two. I bet I'm not
alone.

--DS

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Old 01-29-2006, 00:01   #2 (permalink)
Brent P
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Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

In article <1138516050.007347.245820@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>, Daniel J. Stern wrote:

> Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
> http://www.fpv.com.au/index.asp?link_id=2.440 . Definitely bring this
> high-zoot version


I intended this to be in my letter to Ford should the person who was
telling me to put up or shut up in the Mustang NG live up to her end and
get me a meaningful contact name and address.

If this car were made in a 2 door, I'd buy one right away... as a four
door I might have to think about it bit. I would certainly love to drop
the drive train into my maverick :)


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Old 01-29-2006, 04:01   #3 (permalink)
Backyard Mechanic
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Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

While I dont agree that Ford hasnt produced anything most people might
want, I think Mr Stern has hit the nail on the head.

Ford is trumpeting the relationship with Volvo engineering as a door
opener to the Left Coast crowd. And that's fine and a little overdue.

But looking at the Fairlane Line styling against the current mid-size
Fusion offering shows where some tastes might split.
- If I were buying it would be the Milan, for impression of Front-End
styling, alone.
- and I like Volvo styling, but I dont like the Fusion.
I'll take the 'strayan offering!

I understand Ford's dilemma .. just look at those who think Chrysler's
styling is good looking. I dont!

Surely, though, there's a middle ground.

By the way... "Fordvehicles.com" should have a selection intro.... one
path would be "Twentysomething Viewer", the other "Adult Viewer"

As it is, what an overglitzed, empty of meaningful content, PIECE OF
SHIT!


"Daniel J. Stern" <dastern@engin.umich.edu> wrote:

> Dear Mr. Ford:
>
> I see you're having tough times lately. It sounds as if you realise
> this is mostly because people don't want to buy the cars you've got on
> offer. That new Ford Five Hundred sedan, and its Lincoln and Mercury
> rebadged versions, are total sales flops for you, which has got to be
> tough to stomach. But it's not all bad news; your salvation, at least
> from the product side of the equation, is right in your own backyard,
> in Australia. I mention this because it's been the case for about 12
> years now and you and your predecessors seem not to have noticed it.
>
> Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
> http://www.fpv.com.au/index.asp?link_id=2.440 . Definitely bring this
> high-zoot version, sure, but also bring the more docile Falcons like
> the ones shown at http://www.ford.com.au/range/falcon/models/ . The
> 2-doors, the 4-doors, the station wagons, and the utes:
> http://www.ford.com.au/range/falconute/models . Replace the aging and
> dangerous Clown Victoria with the Fairlane:
> http://www.ford.com.au/range/fairlane/models/ , and every cop shop and
> taxi company will buy your cars because they want to, not because they
> have to.
>
> Pay attention, Mr. Ford, for this is the important part: *Don't ****
> them up*. Bring them intact. Do the bare minimum of changes necessary
> to comply with North American safety standards: Left-hand driving
> position, DOT-certified headlights and taillights, sidemarker lights
> and reflectors, US-spec airbags instead of the safer Australian ones,
> that kind of thing, sure, but don't downgrade the suspension, brakes,
> tires or anything else to bring the car in line with what you perceive
> as "American tastes". Your notions of "American tastes" are obviously
> in dire need of recalibration, and the machines linked herein are just
> the tools to do so. Most imperatively, don't replace the world-class
> 4-litre inline Six engine these cars have with the mediocre V6s you've
> heretofore foisted on North Americans. Do what is necessary to ensure
> that quality is built into the cars, not slapped on as an advertising
> slogan. Bring the cars *intact* from Australia.
>
> You don't sell anything I want, Mr. Ford, and you haven't for decades.
> But do this, Mr. Ford, and I'll buy one. Maybe even two. I bet I'm not
> alone.
>
> --DS
>




--
Yeh, I'm a Krusty old Geezer, putting up with my 'smartass' is the price
you pay..DEAL with it!
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:01   #4 (permalink)
Backyard Mechanic
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Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

Backyard Mechanic <pettyfog@yaywho.com> wrote:


..
>
> But looking at the Fairlane Line styling against the current mid-size
> Fusion


Ooops! Falcon, not Fairlane!


--
Yeh, I'm a Krusty old Geezer, putting up with my 'smartass' is the price
you pay..DEAL with it!
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:01   #5 (permalink)
Backyard Mechanic
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Posts: n/a
Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

Dang... i should do my research before I jump on the bandwagon!

Daniel.... look at those MSRP's on there.

The Fairlane runs about 40,000 USD to start.

Sure bringing them in here would bring the price down... but THAT much?

"Daniel J. Stern" <dastern@engin.umich.edu> wrote:

> Dear Mr. Ford:
>
> I see you're having tough times lately. It sounds as if you realise
> this is mostly because people don't want to buy the cars you've got on
> offer. That new Ford Five Hundred sedan, and its Lincoln and Mercury
> rebadged versions, are total sales flops for you, which has got to be
> tough to stomach. But it's not all bad news; your salvation, at least
> from the product side of the equation, is right in your own backyard,
> in Australia. I mention this because it's been the case for about 12
> years now and you and your predecessors seem not to have noticed it.
>
> Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
> http://www.fpv.com.au/index.asp?link_id=2.440 . Definitely bring this
> high-zoot version, sure, but also bring the more docile Falcons like
> the ones shown at http://www.ford.com.au/range/falcon/models/ . The
> 2-doors, the 4-doors, the station wagons, and the utes:
> http://www.ford.com.au/range/falconute/models . Replace the aging and
> dangerous Clown Victoria with the Fairlane:
> http://www.ford.com.au/range/fairlane/models/ , and every cop shop and
> taxi company will buy your cars because they want to, not because they
> have to.




--
Yeh, I'm a Krusty old Geezer, putting up with my 'smartass' is the price
you pay..DEAL with it!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2006, 05:01   #6 (permalink)
Nate Nagel
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Posts: n/a
Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

Brent P wrote:
> In article <1138516050.007347.245820@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>, Daniel J. Stern wrote:
>
>
>>Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
>>http://www.fpv.com.au/index.asp?link_id=2.440 . Definitely bring this
>>high-zoot version

>
>
> I intended this to be in my letter to Ford should the person who was
> telling me to put up or shut up in the Mustang NG live up to her end and
> get me a meaningful contact name and address.
>
> If this car were made in a 2 door, I'd buy one right away... as a four
> door I might have to think about it bit. I would certainly love to drop
> the drive train into my maverick :)
>
>


Better qualify your statements; they may bring it over with a $60K price
tag :/

I would seriously consider a GTO if it weren't so expensive...

nate

--
replace "fly" with "com" to reply.
http://home.comcast.net/~njnagel
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Old 01-29-2006, 06:01   #7 (permalink)
Jon R Patrick
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Posts: n/a
Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

The styling was decent...but wow! I don't know what the SVT guys have been
doing in the US, but this was awesome!
I doubt I'd ever buy one, purely on price, but I've dreamed of a Nissan
Skyline coming to the US for years. Same for this car, very nice. And what
impresses me the most are the (seemingly) small details in the interior that
look fabulous.
niiiicccce.
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:01   #8 (permalink)
Al Bundy
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Posts: n/a
Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

Decades ago, Ford used to have the occasional display car in the lobby
of the NAAO building and Ford World Headquarters. The ones from
Australia were stunning then too and I pondered why the hell they were
never seen in America. They did not get it then and they won't now so
we won't either.

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Old 01-29-2006, 08:01   #9 (permalink)
john cline ii
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Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

"Daniel J. Stern" wrote in part:

: Dear Mr. Ford:
:
: I see you're having tough times lately. It sounds as if you realise
: this is mostly because people don't want to buy the cars you've got
on
: offer. That new Ford Five Hundred sedan, and its Lincoln and Mercury
: rebadged versions, are total sales flops for you, which has got to be
: tough to stomach.

Uh, there is NO Lincoln version of the Five Hundred on the market at
this time.

No wonder it's a flop.

Sigh.

john cline ii, who notes in passing the Zephyr (is that what you were
thinking?) JUST came out, and is based on the Mazda6 platform, as is
the Fusion/Milan...


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Old 01-29-2006, 08:01   #10 (permalink)
Dave Head
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Posts: n/a
Re: Dear Mr. Ford (a modest proposal)

On 28 Jan 2006 22:27:30 -0800, "Daniel J. Stern" <dastern@engin.umich.edu>
wrote:

>Dear Mr. Ford:
>
>I see you're having tough times lately. It sounds as if you realise
>this is mostly because people don't want to buy the cars you've got on
>offer. That new Ford Five Hundred sedan, and its Lincoln and Mercury
>rebadged versions, are total sales flops for you, which has got to be
>tough to stomach. But it's not all bad news; your salvation, at least
>from the product side of the equation, is right in your own backyard,
>in Australia. I mention this because it's been the case for about 12
>years now and you and your predecessors seem not to have noticed it.
>
>Bring this car to America, Mr. Ford:
>http://www.fpv.com.au/index.asp?link_id=2.440 .


I guess its too much trouble for them to state whether its a front wheel drive,
rear wheel drive, or all wheel drive, which would make all the difference to
me. I just bought a Subaru WRX about 6 months ago because not only does it
have power, it can put it to the ground, even in the wet. I might even be able
to drive it in the snow, too...

But no matter - the car would not be a moneymaker here in the US. The vast
majority of people don't give a hang about a sports car any more. They buy
SUVs. If they don't buy SUVs, then they're buying something really fuel
efficient and cheap so that they can drive it most of the time, and be able to
hang onto their SUVs for the things that they _need_ SUVs for, including the
"status" function.

Dave Head

>Definitely bring this
>high-zoot version, sure, but also bring the more docile Falcons like
>the ones shown at http://www.ford.com.au/range/falcon/models/ . The
>2-doors, the 4-doors, the station wagons, and the utes:
>http://www.ford.com.au/range/falconute/models . Replace the aging and
>dangerous Clown Victoria with the Fairlane:
>http://www.ford.com.au/range/fairlane/models/ , and every cop shop and
>taxi company will buy your cars because they want to, not because they
>have to.
>
>Pay attention, Mr. Ford, for this is the important part: *Don't ****
>them up*. Bring them intact. Do the bare minimum of changes necessary
>to comply with North American safety standards: Left-hand driving
>position, DOT-certified headlights and taillights, sidemarker lights
>and reflectors, US-spec airbags instead of the safer Australian ones,
>that kind of thing, sure, but don't downgrade the suspension, brakes,
>tires or anything else to bring the car in line with what you perceive
>as "American tastes". Your notions of "American tastes" are obviously
>in dire need of recalibration, and the machines linked herein are just
>the tools to do so. Most imperatively, don't replace the world-class
>4-litre inline Six engine these cars have with the mediocre V6s you've
>heretofore foisted on North Americans. Do what is necessary to ensure
>that quality is built into the cars, not slapped on as an advertising
>slogan. Bring the cars *intact* from Australia.
>
>You don't sell anything I want, Mr. Ford, and you haven't for decades.
>But do this, Mr. Ford, and I'll buy one. Maybe even two. I bet I'm not
>alone.
>
>--DS


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