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Old 04-18-2002, 23:02   #1 (permalink)
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Land-Rover jokes

A body engineer from Land Rover goes on an exchange visit to Toyota in Japan and watches the engineers developing the latest Land Cruiser bodyshell. He notices that on the workbench they have a cat in a small cage and he asks what it's for. The Japanese engineer tells him when they have finished a Land Cruiser they lock a cat in it and go home. If the cat is dead when they return in the morning they know the shutlines on the doors are up to their high standards. The LR guy likes this idea and when he gets back to Solihull he takes a cat to work and locks it in a Defender and goes home for the night. When he returns in the morning the cat is gone.
***
Land Rovers are like women:
They leak when you don't want them to, moan on long journey's, embarrass you in front of friends and peers, and consume more money than you ever expected once you've commit yourself to one.
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Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil?
The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.
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Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same.
He replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens !"
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The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
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Lucas - "Inventor" of the first intermittent wiper.
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Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
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Land Rover three position headlight switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
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The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
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"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
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If Lucas made guns, wars would not start...
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Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators...
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