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Old 07-03-2010, 14:37   #1 (permalink)
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The Dark Sucker Theory

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.
For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less
dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the
greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much
greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in your room.

As it is with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full
of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full
Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see
that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that
has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating
candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark
flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark
Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the
dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark
Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable
Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass
generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker.

Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick
instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and
therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of
the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and
deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really
deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to
the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top.

That is why it is called light.

Finally, I am about to prove that dark is faster than light.

If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and
slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the
closet.

Next time you see an electric bulb, or a candle, remember that they are really
Dark Suckers.
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Old 07-03-2010, 15:45   #2 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

That's something to think about lol
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Old 02-27-2011, 02:57   #3 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

this reminds me of the flat earth mob.


ian
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Old 02-27-2011, 17:48   #4 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

Hey Bert: LOL

Did You take the "Brown Acid" at the Big Concert in 69 ?? You know "Woodstock"..

I think it's a conspiracy of the "Dark Sucker"....Movie Title.
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Old 02-27-2011, 19:17   #5 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

Were you at Woodstock Ric? I would have been there but was only 1 at the time
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Old 02-27-2011, 20:23   #6 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

In 1969, I was 27. Just learning about life. I don't remember what color the acid was.
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Old 02-28-2011, 07:08   #7 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

Quote:
Originally Posted by jwko View Post
Were you at Woodstock Ric? I would have been there but was only 1 at the time


Well Guy's let me tell you a story of History:

July of 69 I just turn 15, and Lived in Michigan at the time. I hanged with a pretty "Hippie" crowd at that time, the Vietnam War was going full blast and there were Protest all of the Country, and in Michigan Colleges.

One Day some of my older Friends (17 & 19) came by the house and picked me up to go to Protest at our local college (Western Michigan Unv) in Kalamazoo MI. This was in mid August 69.

Now during that time I had no desire to Protest...Hell I only went to Meet Chicks...and get some...well you know...We met some people from New York, who turned us on to this Big concert out in New York on the weekend of the August 15th to the 18th..

So my friends and I went back home, and put some camping gear together, got into my Brothers "64" Ford Van. And headed out to New York.

Well we go there to Woodstock New York, only to find there was no concert...Holy Poop...Then we found out it was being held on some old Farts Farm south near a town called Bethel. Got back on the road and headed out.

While on the road we noticed the traffic was getting thick, and 3 miles out it came to a complete sand still...people just parked there cars on the road, and started walking, hell 100's then it got to be 1,000's...

Got to take a phone call will continue in a few.
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Old 02-28-2011, 07:44   #8 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

Quote:
Originally Posted by jwko View Post
Were you at Woodstock Ric? I would have been there but was only 1 at the time
So we started walkin, and walkin, and HELL walkin. On the way More and More People came.

We came up on a small hill, then we as we came up an over into a small little valley we saw this Huge Mass of People, and this Stage, with scaffolding all around it in the distance.

HOLY Crap!! So many people...Some much "Poontang" I was in Heaven...Some Dude name "Country Joe McDonald's" was scream on stage give me a "F", give me a "U"...and so on.

Well we found a space in the woods to set up camp, and pitch our small Pup Tents, and gear...and headed back to this "Big concert" to listen to these Bands.

On Saturday...(after I hooked up with some Chick) We were listening to a group called "Santana", They made announcement about the "Brown Acid" apparently there was some bad Acid being passed out in the crowd, and people were getting sick...enhance "don't take the Brown Acid"...

Well the rest is History, and I lost my Virginity 3 times over that Weekend...
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Old 02-28-2011, 07:53   #9 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sterling_Six View Post



Well Guy's let me tell you a story of History:

July of 69 I just turn 15, and Lived in Michigan at the time. I hanged with a pretty "Hippie" crowd at that time, the Vietnam War was going full blast and there were Protest all of the Country, and in Michigan Colleges.

One Day some of my older Friends (17 & 19) came by the house and picked me up to go to Protest at our local college (Western Michigan Unv) in Kalamazoo MI. This was in mid August 69.

Now during that time I had no desire to Protest...Hell I only went to Meet Chicks...and get some....well you know... ( pot, pills and ) We met some people from New York, who turned us on to this Big concert out in New York on the weekend of the August 15th to the 18th..

So my friends and I went back home, and put some camping gear together, got into my Brothers "64" Ford Van (AKA- party wagon). And headed out to New York.

Well we go there to Woodstock New York, only to find there was no concert...Holy Poop...Then we found out it was being held on some old Farts Farm south near a town called Bethel. Got back on the road and headed out.

While on the road we noticed the traffic was getting thick, and 3 miles out it came to a complete sand still...people just parked there cars on the road, and started walking, hell 100's then it got to be 1,000's...

Got to take a phone call will continue in a few.

This should be interesting
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Old 02-28-2011, 08:47   #10 (permalink)
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Re: The Dark Sucker Theory

hahahaha u got that Right Fonz...
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