The Dark Sucker Theory
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.
For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less
dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the
greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much
greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in your room.
As it is with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full
of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see
that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that
has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating
candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark
flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark
Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the
dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark
Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable
Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass
generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker.
Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick
instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and
therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of
the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and
deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really
deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to
the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top.
That is why it is called light.
Finally, I am about to prove that dark is faster than light.
If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and
slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the
Next time you see an electric bulb, or a candle, remember that they are really