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Humor Heard a good joke or funny story? Keep it PG please.

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Old 07-19-2013, 06:41   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Scotland
Posts: 13,397
Farting accidentally in public

On another forum over here someone started this , some funny examples .

Re: Farting accidentally in public


I feel like a primary school kid when I laugh at someone farting I was up north visiting some of her relatives last week and her old uncle let go a couple of absolute raspers whilst his sister was on the phone, her look of disgust and his non plussed look just made me knot myself laughing


Maths in 1st year - the teacher, Mrs Thomson, bent over to help someone with a problem and let out a proper fart and stood up straight right after it and walked straight out. She was very proper and polite, which made it even funnier (no pics and she was old, but would probably have got it back in her heyday )

Guy in the local boozer - kept farting at the table next to us and it kept drifting over. Absolutely eggy stinkers, almost medical problem-esque. The guy, however, was about 6' 7" and built like a tank, and therefore we all shat it to say something. Ended up leaving to go elsewhere.

Walked over to the desk of a girl in my office the other week (Really tidy but no pics), she works in purchasing and sits at the far end of the office on her own. As I was approaching she angrily whispered "Get away from me!" which actually reminded me of the bit in Terminator 3 when Arnie has been reprogrammed as a bad guy. She said it again only more aggressively as I kept walking towards her and I said "What the f*cks wrong?" to which she replied "I've pumped!".

Was sitting at the computer, on a wooden seat, listening to some music and let off a loud rasper and felt really pleased with myself till I got a clip round the ear from the wife. I had be so engrossed in the music I didn't notice that a neighbour had came in and was standing about 10 feet away in the kitchen

A supermarket trip with the Mrs is the perfect venue, especially when someone is approaching you in the aisle. Just let it go then quickly disperse allowing all blame to fall on her

A mate and i were in a Walmart and just as we're walking past the snack bar area, I let off the rankest, beer and mexican food, but stealthiest fart imaginable. Just as i did, I said to him, "i love the smell of freshly popped popcorn". Cue him inhaling hard enough to double coat the inside of his nostrils with my greasy s*** particles.

To this day, I swear I thought he was going to vomit.

I dopped a huge dying elephant in town a couple of weeks ago while bending down to pick up my wee girl. My 11 year old daughter shivers when she thinks about it still. Walked away chest out.

I am in knots reading this.

I once cleared a dance floor, it only consisted of around 6 folk but I managed to drop one, slide off to a secluded area and peer back in sheer satisfaction as the smell hit each dancer, one by one.

Nagasaki II
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:49   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Upstate New York
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Re: Farting accidentally in public

Best hand off I've ever seen. In high school me and a friend would go to the dirt tracks every Sat. night and stop at a Pizza Hut afterwards. We're sitting at a booth awith a low divider wall between us and the other table. Pete, my bud, rips one off that could be heard across the county, stands up and accuses our neighbor on the other side of the wall of being rude and disgusting and proceeds to move to another table. I'll remember the look of the guys face 'til the day I day, eyes wide in shock with his mouth wide open as he was about to chomp down on a piece of pizza.
Chewing on asphalt and drinking dinosaur wine
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