A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said,"I
want to be a movie star."
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had all the `Right'
The agent asked, "What's your name?"
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will
not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever!"
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years....you will
NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling
you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he
left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is
awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in
Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it
with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it
in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian.
After I left your office, I thought long and hard about what you had said.
I decided you were quite right. I had to change my name. I had too much
pride to return to your office, so I signed up with another agent. There
is no doubt that I would never have made it without changing my name, so
the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.
Dick van Dyke"