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Humor Heard a good joke or funny story? Keep it PG please.

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Old 09-05-2012, 21:03   #1 (permalink)
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Southern health terminology

Benign..................... What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria................... Back door to cafeteria
Barium..................... What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section........... A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.................... Searching for Kitty.

Cauterize.................. Made eye contact with her.
Colic...................... A sheep dog.
Coma....................... A punctuation mark.
D&C........................ Where Washington is.
Dilate..................... To live long.
Enema...................... Not a friend.
Fester..................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula..................... A small lie.
Genital.................... Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series................. World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail................... What you hang your coat on.
Impotent................... Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain................. Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.............. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid..................... A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient................. A person who has fainted.
Pelvis..................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative............. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.............. Place to do upholstery.
Secretion.................. Hiding something
Seizure.................... Roman emperor.
Tablet..................... A small table.
Terminal Illness........... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor...................... More than one.
Varicose................... Near by/close by
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Old 09-05-2012, 21:38   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

That's about right
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Old 09-06-2012, 17:43   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

Redneck Divorce...
A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce.
Attorney: "May I help you?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces".
Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres."
Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere."
Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning."
Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want this dayvorce."
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Old 09-06-2012, 18:37   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

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Old 09-06-2012, 19:13   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

Bein's from West (by God) Virginia, I fail to find the humor in any of this...

Yeah, I'm in NY, I'm a displaced redneck.
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Old 09-06-2012, 20:17   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

Quote:
West (by God) Virginia
Reminds me of the Whites (Boone County)


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Old 09-07-2012, 02:44   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

Yeah... West Virginia has a few like that floating around. Darwin tries to remove them and they just give him a beer and somehow keep on living.
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Old 09-07-2012, 10:05   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

Quote:
Originally Posted by CatSkinner View Post
Bein's from West (by God) Virginia, I fail to find the humor in any of this...

Yeah, I'm in NY, I'm a displaced redneck.
Should cheer you up ,



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Old 09-07-2012, 14:12   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

That song reminds me of The Waltons tv show.
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Old 09-07-2012, 15:40   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Southern health terminology

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Originally Posted by jwko View Post
That song reminds me of The Waltons tv show.


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