Cop pulled a man over doing 90 mph in a 55 mph zone. He checked his license & said, "Darn, it's been a long day, it's Friday, I don't need the frustration of more paperwork or the overtime. If you can give me one GOOD excuse for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go without a ticket."
The man thinks for a minute & says, " Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend!" said the officer.