A wife being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text...
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send
me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking,
send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you."
He texted back... "I am taking a crap. What should I do?"
Chewing on asphalt and drinking dinosaur wine